The Name Is Carmen.

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1107
Reviews 7
Cigarettes and Men alike, easily does she discard them
After bewitching, seducing, fatale est la femme
Reels them in, spits them out, falls for another
Madly one fell, sacrificing, he – a passionate lover
Escamillo, she left him for, José’s obsession tired her
Now he pleads, she refuses; he reacts, passionately, violently, in anger
teach my soul to soar




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Ooh! This is actually quite cool. :)

The "M" and "E" lines weren't as good, mostly because they were jumbled around a bit a little too much. You should try to straighten them out, maybe make them more grammatical, and it should be okay. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1408
Reviews 20
I have to agree with Snoink above, when i saw the C-A-R-M-E-N i thought ... but it came across really good. I think the E-line was good as opposed to the M-line which was a little confusing. What if it went like- Madly one fell, sacrificing a passionate lover. hope i was helpful :roll:




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1969
Reviews 32
I liked it alot! very put together and orderly. I remember my teacher making us do these in grade school mine really sucked compared to yours.
"my job was twofold 1)save lives 2)take lives. Not necessarily in that order."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1107
Reviews 7
heyy(: thanks guys :D

how's this:

Cigarettes and Men alike, easily does she discard them

After bewitching, seducing, fatale est la femme

Reels them in, and spits them out, then falls for another

Madly one fell, he – a self-sacrificial, passionate lover

Escamillo, she left him for; José’s obsession tired her

Now he pleads, she refuses; he reacts, passionately, violently, in anger


i should put this under performance poetry or something...
teach my soul to soar



It's a dramatic situation almost every time you answer the phone—if you answer the phone.
— Matthew Weiner