My teacher and I disagree about this MLA format thing

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In my English class we're learning how to cite quotes from Lord of the Flies. My teacher said I needed to redo the assignment because I put two extra commas in two different sentences. I don't think she is right...

I wrote

For example, when Eric and Sam were telling Jack and the others about the beast, Jack immediately says, "This'll be a real hunt! Who'll come?" (100).

I also wrote

In addition, when Ralph and the littluns were searching for the beast, Jack said, elatedly, about the rocks near the cliff, "Shove a palm trunk under that and if an enemy came--look!" (106).

The commas in red are what my teacher said should be omitted. Are they supposed to be omitted or not?
Last edited by Summerless on Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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I think they are supposed to be omitted. Ewww... I hate Lord of the Flies. Such a gruesome book.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.




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The commas in red should be there. *nods* The "when....." part is a dependent clause and omitting the comma will create a run-on sentence. :)

Tell your teacher to put that in her textbook and proofread it. /lame Language Arts joke

haha




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To Kaylyn:
Hahaha, yeah, I agree.
Such corrupt little boys. :'(

To JosephDean:
That's what I thought too.
I told her it was a dependent clause and told her that, but she told me I was wrong.

And hahaha. (I love lame jokes) ;D




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Your teacher really should be teaching history or science or something. She's probably better at that.




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Your teacher is right. However, far better would be to rewrite the sentences since both are awkwardly constructed.



Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.
— Marianne Moore