So this is a short story that I wrote for a contest last year. The limit was 600 words which is why it's so short. All reviews are welcome!
2. Ok, I've gotten several replies, I'll edit it soon (tomorrow hopefully), so please hold off on more replies!(Unless it's something not already mentioned)
Mid-editing........not quite finished
I was a fool to follow the pixie.
But when she appeared outside my window and beckoned me into the darkness, I could do nothing but follow her. All of my life I had been told that faeries weren’t real, but I had never wanted to believe those who said so. Even as a teenager I’d always wished that, just once, the faeries would come for me.
They say that you should be careful what you wish for.
They were right.
I find myself lying in bed thinking of them. I go through my day and cannot stop myself from closing my eyes and letting the feelings of their music rush through my body again; their unnatural music that I could feel rushing through my body, pulsing in my mind and soul. I cannot focus on the daily tasks I am expected to go through…my mother looks at me, worried and I think she asked me something, but I’m not quite sure, so I continue walking, no destination in mind. My thoughts begin to drift away from the tempting subject and I manage to consider my present for a moment. Then I realize where I am standing: the river. The river that she led me across on that unforgettable night. The memories rise up again and wash all other thoughts from my mind.
I followed her through the midnight woods until we reached a glade filled with sunlight. My eyes watered from the unexpected light after the shadowed journey from my home. When my eyes focused I could see fey of unimaginable bodies and dispositions dancing around the dell. A coral-encrusted nymph approached me suspiciously, paused, and then grabbed my hair. I cried out, but she simply pulled me close and inhaled the scent of my hair before releasing me. I stumbled back as she laughed in a high pitched chitter, showing her blue teeth. Others, encouraged by her boldness, pulled me into their circle.
I was stumbling into the middle of the ring when it closed around me and the fey
began to dance. At first I merely watched the beautiful and terrifying creatures dancing wildly around me, and wondered what they could be dancing to in the silence of the clearing. However, a moment later I was struck by an unimaginable silent melody. Somehow I knew that I wasn’t hearing the music with my ears; it must have been...magic, I guess. It was not made of sounds, but of emotions, both terrible and wonderful. Feelings of love, loss, hatred and passion sweep through my body and I began to say more and more passionately to the melody, dancing immeasurably more gracefully than I could have done normally.
The glittering eyes of the pixies and sprites, the fauns, the nymphs and the dryads watched my motions with devilish pleasure. I wondered why they were laughing at me so silently, but suddenly it no longer mattered. I whirled and danced, snapping my body to the increasing internal rhythm. The feelings rush through me became sharper and more passionate. I tried to stop myself, but my body wouldn’t listen to me. I cried out inpain and pleasure. The last thing that I saw was the joy on the faces of the fey as our dance reached another level that a human mind could not endure. Then I blacked out.
I was walking home one day, blind to our world when an old homeless woman ran into me. She held my face in her hands and looked into my eyes.
“Fairy-struck, that’s what that one is!” she announced to the people walking past us. Her voice dropped to a husky, soothing tone “Don’t worry dearie, ‘twill pass in time.” Her voice was comforting and brought me out of my stupor…a little.
