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The Perfect 23

A Flawed Paradise · 2008-08-11T01:44:53Z

Hey there YWS! I’m here because I have this novel that I’ve just begun working on. My first, actually, since I usually write short stories, but, even so, it already seems like a massive undertaking. I think its brilliant story and I’m confident in my ability to finish it. However, I’m not extremely confident is it’s really something you, the public, would look forward, and enjoy reading. That being said, I thought I would post a gist of the story and let you guys give me feedback. So here is goes, The Perfect 23: The Perfect 23 is a story which I have yet managed to place under a particular genre so you guys tell me where you think it should fit. I begin by introducing the organization known as The Perfect 23 (Shocker, huh?). Lead by, codename, Mother they are under the belief that they alone are perfect in the modern world. The world, to them, is tainted, corrupt, and a self-mutilating place. As such, it is now their duty to reach what they call Paradise, Eden, or, sometimes, the New World. But, whatever they might call it, it is certain by which means they are ready to obtain it. It’s a simple matter of exterminating the world of it’s undesirables and beginning anew. A utopia, if you will. It is, of course, no easy task, but then again, they are without flaw. So yeah, in simple terms, they are a group bent on destroying the world. It’s purposely a clichéd idea, but I want to make it so that as you read you find it to be extremely original. Just some quick facts: Mother is a genetic scientist, a genius in her own right. This explains how the other members of The Perfect 23 are embedded with the Expletus Gene (Literally Perfect Gene in Latin), making them somewhat superhuman, and also enabling me to answer other Perfect 23 fantasy. Her past will also be a mystery throughout the story, revealing bits and pieces as it goes on. Again, I’m following my cliché, but not so much, format, giving my take on the Mad Scientist archetype. The story as will be told from the viewpoint of, codename, Saladin, second in command of the Perfect 23. He is a very stoic figure, but curious, and doubtful of “the cause“. With him, the reader will feel more at home, reflecting their own obvious apprehensions with him. I’m sure he’ll be a very dynamic character in the story. There will also be some shifts of perspective once in a while, lasting no more than a chapter. The MC is defiantly Saladin. Of course, the mentality of the story is radical. I plan to do this on purpose, as well make each character as radical and unbelievable as possible. I will do this because their story isn’t suppose to be taken seriously, rather, I want to reflect obvious flaws with society but how rather than “change the world”, though important, we should focus on changing ourselves. In fact, the characters will be quirky and very, very amusing and diverse. Plot wise: I will begin by a brief introduction of the 23. Perhaps a simple scene that happens to mention all of them as well a little bit of background, but nothing to forced and nothing too deep. Then I will make them do something that will, purposely, make the reader sick of them, make them see them as hideous psychopaths of some sort. Then, an in depth look at the characters, a slow and steady arch where I make the reader steadily trust and become fond of them, revealing their pasts and motives. This will be the majority of the book. Then, once again, a snap back to reality where the reader realizes that The Perfect 23 are still in the wrong, even if their motives and background are now justified. It is here when we finally get some sort of climatic events. Mother discovers a virus that might just help them reach their New World. Accordingly, The Perfect 23 infiltrate some sort of Corporation (I haven’t thought of the exact details here but think Umbrella from Resident Evil) and steal the virus. It is here that a true antagonist rises rather than being internal conflicts between the characters and the reader. The Corporation is revealed to be extremely powerful and the CEO seems to have ties with Mother, to tie things up nicely. With this in mind the Corp. begins to hunt down the 23, as they stole their virus, and at some point, the climax, retrieves both the virus and the Expletus Gene. Not wanting world destruction, but world domination, the tables are turned and it now becomes the job of the Perfect 23, in particular Saladin, to bring them down, in the end having to rethink if it's really their call to end the world. And there you have. I know I was not very detailed, but that's simply because I myself don’t have it all together. I had this idea about a week ago, so give me break! Anyways, ask me questions, comment, or tell me it’s an horrible story. Thanks in advanced!

Tusker93

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Points 2018

Reviews 32

Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:52 am

Tusker93 says... · Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:52 am

The plan is so detailed

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The concept is great and I can already see a box-office hit in the making

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My only concern is that the detailed character Bio might make you unconsciously restrict yourself in your writing. I suppose you won't be sticking to the plan down to every detail but just thought i'd mention it.

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TheWordsmith

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Points 890

Reviews 10

Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:53 pm

TheWordsmith says... · Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:53 pm

Whoa. Cool concept.

Now that I think on it, it does sound like The Giver, but that's not what I thought about first. Actually, the Utopia idea seems to becoming popular.
Trend?

Sci-fi, definitely. Anyway, I can't wait to read it!

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The Perfect 23

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