unnamed poem

Hello,
This is one of the only poems I've written that I actually like. I know it's got some flaws but I wanted to see what other people thought. Thank you to anyone who reviews.



Worlds apart in not miles but mind
Or maybe distance of a different kind...
What's real changes colors, but through a heartbeat
One breath to the next is the same thing I meet.
It's easy to dream but before I can start
Perceptive doubt blows out the flame in my heart.
Fear and the real world team up to end
Any hope I might harbor. I don't pretend
That my heart rules my head or that I'm not aware
Of Logic's flaming exile for those who might dare.
Words out of a can tell lies that are real.
"Love" and "heartbreak" are excuses for what you feel.
So I hide in a mirror that twists what you see,
And edit the pounding-heart vision of me.
Yet inside my mirror I have time to think:
My eyes are my armor's only chink
And, trembling, raced to close this distance
Not once not twice with no resistance.
A long-ago hope across worlds uncertain-
I don't care. I am here. Show me again.

Brilliant...quite honestly, that's all that comes to mind for me.

I apologize if I can't really give you any critiquing if you wanted some. This piece really does a great job overall.

The only thing I'd question is the message, but even the message is pretty readable. Nice piece; keep 'em coming.

Brilliant! This was absolutley fabulous. I recomend calling it Worlds Apart

Thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind comments!!

I like the title suggestion, unsterblichkeit36. Thank you!