A dream or a Vision?

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Imaginative write
Written May/29/08

Most stories like to start with a beginning but with some stories the beginning was the start of the end or even another beginning. I'm going to tell you the story of a girl that did not belong in the realm of humans and did not want to belong there either. Her name is Alex and this story starts when she is walking down the street back to her house. She can barely see the sidewalk because of how dark it is but still she walks to her impending doom.
"Alex!" a familiar voice calls out her name and she is forced to turn around. She see's her friend, Ava. Ava is a tan, sleep deprived girl with long blond hair, bright blue eyes and a cute 5foott 1inch form with many curves. Alex on the other hand is a tall black haired female with deep golden eyes and is about as curvy as a pole. Ava coughs a little before running towards Alex waving one arm wildly into the air. "What in the world are you wearing? I could barely recognize you. You look like a guy." Alex's friend caught up to her and stared at her black Kendo outfit. It was true. Alex looked like an extremely tall dude with her long black hair pulled back into a high pony tail
“It’s a Keikogi and a Hakama, otherwise known as a Kendo or Samurai outfit. Just pants and shirt usually warn under armor. Its part of my senior project, I'm doing a thing on Sword fighting. Now what are you doing here Ava?" Ava did not stop staring at the black skirt like pants and large shirt. She had never seen anything like this before except in a dream. Alex decided to break the silence and shift towards her friend. "Lets just get out of here the street is a dangerous place to be at night." The sound of Alex’s voice broke whatever trance Ana was in. The girl nodded and hooked arms with Alex and nearly whimpered her next words.
"Can you walk me home? I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen tonight." Alex nodded and placed a hand on the katana that hung at her side. In the past Ava could see bits of the future and foretell what was going to happen years from now in dreams. Most of her friends said it was just coincidence or that she was lying but Alex believed her.
"Hey Ava, I was thinking that my theory about other realms is true. I remember that when you're young and lonely you have imaginary friends right? Then you grow up and get friends or get over the childish things. I think that those imaginary friends are real but most of us can't see them because we are too into are own realm. What do you think?" Ava pondered on the thought and suddenly clutched onto Alex's arm when they turned a corner.
"Why do you think this?" she asked, suddenly looking more scared then ever.
"Well because I can still see my so called ‘imaginary’ friends and they still talk to me. I never wanted to get over them and they stayed with me from child hood until now. I talk with them a lot, even when I'm walking around on the streets. Oh well, so have any dreams lately? You seem kind of stressed. You're only like this when something bad is going to happen." Ava stopped and turned to Alex with sad watery eyes.
"I did have a dream, long ago and, and I have just now remembered fragment’s of it. I-it was so long ago, I didn’t even know you back then but I was walking down the street with some one just like this." Ava stopped when she heard a car coming down the street. She clutched Alex's arm in fear and was shaking like a leaf as the words slipped from her mouth. "I remember seeing blood on the concrete, draining down into the gutter. I remember holding something covered in black with a white face. Alex, I think you were the person I was with in my dream." Alex was taken back by this story while Ava stood scared into tears. Alex could not deny her crying friend reassurance. She hugged the girl trying to comfort her in the only way she knew how.
"If I die then I'll die in peace and go to my other realm." Ava stared up at Alex. She whined and pressed in closer with the feeling of dread taking over her. In the distance some one yelled at Alex and her friend.
“Let her go! Don't Touch Ava!” it was the quiet kid from there school. He had been stalking Ava since he first laid eyes on her. He had a gun in his hand and was aiming it at Alex’s heart.
“Put the gun down before you kill someone! Manly me!” Alex then forced Ava behind her in order to protect her. Both of them knew the kid had a head problem. He was born with a slow mind and acted mostly on impulse. The boy must have thought that Alex was a guy attempting to kidnap her.
“No! Ava’s mine and mine alone!” There was a gunshot and Ava screamed but the one who felt the bullet was Alex. She stood for a moment in shock as blood steeped from the wound in her side into her clothes. Before the pain or knowledge of it settled in Alex turned her head towards Ava and spoke.
“Are you…ok?” She fell to the ground once the pain and the blood loss stepped into her. Ava was in shock and covered in her friend’s blood.
“A-Alex? Alex!” The girl fell to her knees next to Alex and glared at the culprit that shot her. “Get out of here! I never wana see you again!” He was scared away by her harsh tone and dropped the gun while running away. “Alex? Tell me you’re ok! Wait don't speak! I’ll get you to a hospital! Oh gods please, please don't die…” Ava was failing in her attempt to stay calm and choking on ever other word.
“Ava It’s ok…” Alex’s voice was soft and pleasant but it also trembled under the weight of near death. “I'm going to my own realm where I belong so don't try to stop me. You belong here for now so don't try and kill yourself to follow me. You might end up some were else.” Ava nodded while tears still streamed down her cheeks. Some other people had already called for the ambulance but it was too late. When they got there Alex was lifeless and pail as she had been in Ava’s dream. Ava made it home ok. She walked to her bedroom and closed the door before collapsing on the bed and crying herself to sleep. The strange thing is that Alex was standing right next to her but as she said, she was in another realm that Ava’s realm could not see. She still is to this day just another one of your child’s imaginary friends.
Last edited by Nara Roku on Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Person1:Cant Touch this, bow wow wow wow, boww woow
Person2:leave me alone or I will Hurt you
Person3:...




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Points 890
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I really like this, it's sad but in a good sort of way.

Firstly, look it over for some spelling errors. I spotted a few but they were just silly mistakes like forgetting the last letter in a word. Easily fixable.

Sometimes it was a bit confusing to figure out who was talking, you put all of the right words in " " but you don't always use words like 'said' (I know bad example) you just continue on with the action part.

Like I said I really enjoyed this, although I feel bad for Ava. That kid who shot Alex is a psycho. Keep writing.




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Its sad how alex died :( . Only a few silly mistakes like the person said before me. Anyway nice idea for coming up with different realms, I think its original how you put it and interesting that our imaginary friends are from a different realm. Maybe Ava could get over it for a while then Alex comes back to her as an imaginary friend... Then everyone thinks shes crazy. :D




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Yeah, like the person above, I think the imaginary friend/realm thing is super cool. It was sort of depressing how Alex died, but I really liked it.
The only things I think you have to work on are: character development and more detail. However, I still thought it was a great story! keep writing!
“I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end."
~Samwise Gamgee
Never give up.



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