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...sometimes I really do think I hate you. Beautiful. Lovely. Deep. Meaningful. Only problem is with the second stanza, did you mean to make that a 'your'? It doesn't make sense...gramatically or poetically (at least to me). That's it. Short, sweet, almost perfect. Bastard.
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on E-bay.




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how can you do that in three stanzas?

do you even need critiques?
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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I hated it. No, really. :^o 8-[

Regardless of the finesse, however, it kind of struck me as being...pointless - and the last stanza was too abrupt for my tastes.

But maybe thats just me.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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There isn't much to say... in case you want to hear it again... good job.




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i liked it but it was a little short but still a good poem




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bubblewrapped wrote:I hated it. No, really. :^o 8-[

Regardless of the finesse, however, it kind of struck me as being...pointless - and the last stanza was too abrupt for my tastes.

But maybe thats just me.


ARAGH how dare the!

It brings images to mind..... and as I said Brad, I'm sre you're tired of the OH WOW I LOVED IT SO MUCH AMAZING crap from me so I'll just sit here and stare at it till I can think of something "mature enough" for your particular liking my good sir... :stares:




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Thought I owed you a proper crit, since you obviously have enough talent to drown all of us...not that that a bad thing...it's all good all good.

so here it goes

hope it helps.

Image
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

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