Where Did It Go?

4 posts
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Tatra
Gender Female
Points 6100
Reviews 121
Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:12 am
Tatra says... · Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:12 am
Can’t write;
The words never come.

Can’t speak;
Nothing comes to mind.

Can’t think;
There’s nothing new.

Can’t create;
Inspiration is gone.

Where did it go?
Some people fall in love and touch the sky.
Some people fall in love and find Quicksand.

- Incubus
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LilyReagan
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 29
Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:45 am
LilyReagan says... · Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:45 am
Hmm. Well, it's very short and sweet..... But to the point?

I suppose a poem never really gets 'to the point', though....

Can’t write;
The words never come.
} Maybe switch the second lines in these two?
Can’t speak;
Nothing comes to mind.

Can’t think;
There’s nothing new.

Can’t create;
Inspiration is gone.

Where did it go?



Other than that... it was quite good.

~Lily~
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
~Anonymous

Nulla dies sine linea. --Not a day without a line
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Turntable Jack
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 12
Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:13 pm
Turntable Jack says... · Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:13 pm
I like it and it flows quite nice. I like the shortness and it is creative. However, the line

Inspiration is gone.


seems a bit too long syllable rise and I would shorten it by 1 or 2. Otherwise, it is great.
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KaatiieBugg
Gender Female
Points 1134
Reviews 15
Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:35 pm
KaatiieBugg says... · Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:35 pm
Great poem, my thoughts exactly. I loved the last little bit:
Can’t create;

Inspiration is gone.


because sometimes there isn't any inspiration.
Writing: My Anti-Drug
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4 posts


An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that life's going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming.
— Unknown