Nia

When I was four years old I was a typical little girl.
I played with dolls, had tea parties and hugged and kissed my mommy and daddy. But the problem was that I was shy. In the year that I was in kindergarten, I met Nia Jones. Nia was anything but shy. Nia laughed, smiled, and was amazing outgoing.

In the first few weeks of kindergarten Nia and played together, but I was still shy. She tried to open me up but I just wouldn't let her. Then one day Nia came to me and said, "Maya, get your little hot dog off that bun and put some mustard on it." Suddenly I fell to the floor and laughed my hot dog off. Ever since that day I opened up. Nia changed my life, and now I am just as out going as her.

To this day, I think of her every day. I never saw Nia again but I know that she she thinks of me every day too. Every summer I always want to she that girl who told me to get my hot dog off that bun.

This is a really short memoir. It only has one anecdote, and I don't know...obviously this girl is important to you, but I just am not getting why she is so important. You said why, that she made you outgoing--but through one joke? I think you need to expand this more to get the readers into it, because I certainly wasn't. Through this memoir you need to show what type of a person Nia is and get us into this story.

Your writing is bland in this piece too. It's very "This happened, and then this, and this is how I changed, this is how I felt, etc." at this point. But this can change...more of a personal narrative might work better and describe the scene of the first meeting with Nia. Vary your sentences. SHow, don't tell. Also, there has got to be more than just the hot dog thing that had an effect on you, Nia-wise. And if there isn't, there has got to be more in this girl's personality than you showed.

To this day, I think of her every day. I never saw Nia again but I know that she she thinks of me every day too. Every summer I always want to she that girl who told me to get my hot dog off that bun.

This ending needs a bit of work. THe first sentence sounds awkward. How do you know she thinks about you too every day? A sixth sense? And the last sentence doesn't make sense...

I wish you luck.
This has potential.