This was an excellent beginning to something I feel has a lot of potential. First of all, I love you already because you stray from the usual, boring descriptions that so many (myself included) lay down, about what the people are like in the first paragraph. This defines a character by actions, and gives them depth by adding in the hint of regret the assassin (?) has for her past actions. Great stuff, keep it up!
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. — Neil Gaiman
