GingerLizzy wrote:I know what it's like,
to be a teenager, my love.
I'm not sold on the "my love" at the end of this. If it's a parent addressing a child, they probably wouldn't say "my love". Try something like "darling" or "honey", or just take it out altogether.
I was caught for firsts,
which were soon, my lasts.
I'm not quite sure what you meant by this. I'm thinking along the lines of "what got me noticed in high school (looks, etc) are now gone away from me", but I'm not quite sure about it. A little clarification, maybe?
Had a father who
was too suffocating;
like a boa constrictor;
Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but generally semi-colons are used to seperate two complete and related clauses. Last time I checked, "Like a boa constrictor" is not a complete thought. What is like a boa constrictor? If it's the father, then a comma should be after "suffocating"; if it's something else, name it.
waiting to swoop down
on me if my skirt was,
a tad too short.
I would take out "a tad" here. I know the effect you're going for, but "a tad" clutters it up.
"You're old and boring,
you don't understand me!"
I've been there too;
I am that old.
Couldn't have asked for a better ending for this.
Again, great work. Just a little tweaking, and it'll be fine.
