i took you for grant[ed]

Brad you are absolutely brilliant.

The title is righteous--so creative, in my opinion at least.

"the remainder of our time together to fizzle out like fireworks"

--How did you come up with that? Anyway, I liked it.

"I can only watch myself fall into you"

--For whatever reason, I was reminded of...Ryan Cabrera...

"I don’t want you to hold doors open for me or pay
for my meal, I don’t want to hear you say, “I love you”
because I am not your object to love. “I love to you” is what I want..."

--I love this stanza. It's like a twist...and the end of a story...

"If I wanted to taste the back of your throat "

--That was the only part I didn't really get.

*blinks*

That's DIRTY.

absolutely brilliant
holy crimany this is so good....
wow

a-hah...a-hah...I gotcha.

'If I wanted to taste the back of your throat
and mark it with wild graffiti--my wild graffiti--
I would, and that
is why
I did.'

I am getting...a...polar bear in a snowstorm.

I know you supposed to be doing poet-y metaphorical things but...what the freak...

I know I sound like an idiot, but wouldn't you be gagging the person?

:snicker:

It's called french-kissing.

Love it Brad, ver nice.

Don't have much to say except that it was excellent and each line was extraodinarly well-written; definitely one of your best.

Very dirty though, lol

I agree with what most other people have said, great lineas and lexis and ideas and everything. You can feel the power behind it. I didn't like the last three lines, even though I can see why you did them so, because they sound childish. Maybe that's just me.

But I really liked this, kudos. It certainly is a mutual idea, Brad.

That's what I thought.