It's beautiful hon, but then again, all your work is...
further analysis indicates:
You are plath by night and....everyone loves a good plath reference
shoot razzles of beauty through your...razzles is a good word visually, but I'm not sure how it would work allowed. It adds a funny colour here
poetic cannon, held close enough
to hear your heartbeat and
the etchings of your fingers to be recorded
on bleach white paper.
You are a commongirl in the day
when you don’t need to veil your emotions
in quicksilverbullets and zing one-liners
like a Greek god, but we both know...Zeus' lightening, nice subtle allusion
if you ever stopped to look at yourself you would be overwhelmed in a mass
of poeticjusticestarlighthymnalsanddustyshelves...love the run on! here it's the opposite. It reads great aloud, but visually it's a bit tedious
waiting to be removed.
And in-between your latenight rendezvous
and sticky Cleopatra julydays, there is a girl
whose own pen has seen black and white etched across
so many pages for so many faces,...I like the almost-rhyme here, its good on the ears
but we’re all the same,
after all....a tad cliche, but a nice closing, none-the-less
Your poems just keep getting better and better! (of course I am a bit biased...especially for this piece...) Keep on writing dear, and thanks so much for this.
