The Dead Poets Society

I made this up on the bus and then I fogot it in math, but I remembered it and wrote it down. Hmm... I think I got the idea for this from one of the group names.. Tell me what you think when your done reading!

The Dead Poets Society

As a rose petal falls we rise.
We’re the ones you love to despise.
Pushing through dirt and grime
To get to the light, the
Inspiration, the words to rhyme.
The Dead Poets Society are we!
Join our zombie family!

Running around in the midnight moons’ light,
We go where we want, never with fright.
Around the town, a pen in hand, a crooked smile,
Come run with our band!

When the sun comes up we hide away,
To wait till it sets to go up and play…

OMG....that was really good......great rhyming!!

Interesting.

To get to the light, the

This line messed up your flow in the verse.

Running around in the midnight moons’ light,

This is rather a mouthful. I suggest you take out midnight.

To wait till it sets to go up and play…

Again rather cluttered.

Other than that, I liked it. Nice, short sweet. Perhaps a bit of description would be good. But......... yes.

*Seraph*

I agree with some of the others. The forth and fifth line don't exactly fit in the poem, but it seems like something else needs to be in place of them.-Jeni

I really like the first verse. Except I might take out the zombie reference, it doesn't really seem to match.
Also, I agree with Seraph, I'd take out moonlight.

To get to the light, the
This line interupts the rhyming, which otherwise is perfect in that verse.

SeraphTree wrote:To wait till it sets to go up and play…

Again rather cluttered.

Again, I agree with Seraph

I'm with Adnamarine and Seraph on this. Otherwise it's really good. I look forward to reading more of your literature.

Shadow