not my fairy tale

The keyboard hammered into my brain as my complacent fingers soared over the strategically placed keys. I felt as though I was invading the spots that they held; each one cursing me as I typed. But in that moment, I was too creative to care, I had too many things that had to be said, had to be stated, had to be written down. My fingers outlined and traced a life that was once my own but now that it was down on the screen in front of me, it was no longer mine to claim. It took on a tactical life of its own and, soon, it had become something I no longer knew, no longer could affiliate with. I was only the typist; I was not the one in the story anymore. Before I could release my fingertips from the enticing letters that drew out a story of heartache, love, mystery, and life, I knew that something was being created … and it was beautiful. The screen mocked me and challenged me to do better but nothing seemed to fit. I tried different words for the same meaning; life, existence, being, time, living, verve, days, weeks, years … but none of them could describe what the electricity was creating. That's what I called it; electricity. My own personal current of time and space and, most importantly, thoughts. The words would form in my mind, move down through my arm like an electric current as it picked out pieces of the story it liked, and bolted from my fingertips to the keys that cursed me as I continued to hammer out the life that I was creating. The life of an atomic bomb, maybe. Or a child who lived in a far away county. Or maybe it was a fairy tale; a beautiful temptress with long flowing hair who tricks her lover into marrying her for his money; wait, that was my mother, not a fairy tale.

Um, hello.

I think the reason why you don't have anyone looking at your work is because you flooded the forum with it.

If you can somehow persuade a Moderator to delete some of the posts you made, and then resubmit them separately, a week at a time, then you would get more critics looking at your work.

^^ hoped that helped!

- jai -

You start off with a fairly interesting start (at least interesting for us writers anyway) but then... you get off topic. What exactly is the point you want to make?

And come up with a powerful conclusion! Right now it just floats away and leaves no impact. Once you come up with what you want to say, write a conclusion that goes with it.

Good luck!

omg that was so unblieveabley awsome

that was the coolest thing i have ever read

I think you wondered away from what you were talking about at the start which is ok but the start was really good.

it didn't make sense by the end if you compare them.

anyway the descriptions were strong and you could feel the emotion through the words.

Fairy