Alpha Galaxy Ch3

The truth begins to unfold.

Orlam seemed to be waking up from a deep sleep. He opened his eyes slowly so they could adjust to the light. When they were fully opened Orlam found himself in a dimly lit white room laying down on a metal bed in the middle of the room. It looked the a medical room, but it had a more sinister feel to it.

"You're finally awake," said a disembodied voice that sounded as it came from everywhere. Lights suddenly flared on from above. Orlam moved himself to sit on the side of the bed and the voice came from nowhere again. "Are you Orlam Yuip Iop, pup of Rencel and Orlam Iop, litter mate with Lethero Iop."

"Yes," Orlam said, not knowing what think of that question.

"Are you currently living in Silver Blade Apartments room number two-twenty-four in the city of Trilon, on the planet of Topisk?"

"Yes."

"Did you know that your litter mate Lethero Iop is currently on the wanted list of the Alphas for crimes against the Alphas and the planets? Also is now going under the assumed name The Wolf With Many Furs?"

"No," Orlam lied. He didn't want to give his brother away and endanger him.

"Do you know where his current residence is?"

"No?"

"You lie. A note was found on your person that had an address on it that leads to an abandoned city ceveral miles from the city. Why would you have an address to an abandoned city?"

"I wanted to explore it."

"You know that entering the abandoned city is punished severally?" Orlam nodded, not nowing if they saw him. They seemed to be able to see them because they continued. "We belive this address is leading to a group that are part in illegal activity known as the Moon Riders. If you help lead us to your brother you will not be convicted for any activity he's in. Will you help us?"

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Hey, Ash! Let's see what happens next!

When they were fully opened, Orlam found himself in a dimly lit white room, laying down on a metal bed in the middle of the room.

It looked [s]the[/s] like a medical room, but it had a more sinister feel to it.

"You're finally awake," said a disembodied voice that sounded as if it came from everywhere.

"Yes," Orlam said, not knowing what to think of that question.

"Are you currently living in Silver Blade Apartments, room number two-twenty-four in the city of Trilon, on the planet of Topisk?"

"Did you know that your litter mate, Lethero Iop, is currently on the wanted list of the Alphas for crimes against the Alphas and the planets?

A note was found on your person that had an address on it, [s]that leads[/s] leading to an abandoned city [s]ceveral[/s] several miles from the city.

"You know that entering the abandoned city [s]is punished severally?[/s] means severe punishment?"

Orlam nodded, not knowing if they saw him.

"We [s]belive[/s] believe this address [s]is leading[/s] leads to a group that [s]are[/s] part [s]in[/s] of an illegal activity known as the Moon Riders.

If you help lead us to your brother, you will not be convicted for any activity he's in. Will you help us?"

You're writing is improving! *squeals and hugs Ash* I'm so proud of you! The only problem is that you're getting to excited when you're writing, lol. You forget a word here or there or silly spelling mistakes. Nothing wrong here at all! Can't wait for more!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

As always here's the other half.

“Can I go?” Orlam asked.

“Yes,” said the voice to his great surprise and relief. “You will be released into the city, but I think we will keep this piece of paper.” As if on cue, Wolves stormed into the room from a hidden back door once the voice stopped. Each in the most expensive armor that the Alphas could buy and armed with the latest and strongest electric batons. “You shall be escorted out of here, but we will have to blindfold you.” Then Orlam was quickly grabbed from behind and darkness fell over his vision as a piece of cloth was tied up over his eyes.

“Do not struggle,” said a voice right beside him, that sounded as if it came through a radio. “If you struggle...we will use lethal force.” Orlam’s hands were grabbed and roughly handcuffed behind his back. He was propelled forward by a strong push from behind.

Little to nothing was spoken between the guards. What little was spoken seemed to open a door or pass security. Orlam did not struggle, though he really had no choice. After what seemed like hours and what sounded like another door opening did he feel the wind through his fur.

“Count to ten before you remove your blindfold,” said a guard behind him, “if you remove it before you will be shot and killed. Do you comply?”

“Yes,” Orlam said as the handcuffs were removed and pushed forward. He started counting slowly in his head and as the ten seconds passed he removed his blindfold and found himself in an alleyway. He quickly spun around to see where the door was, but all he saw was the perfectly flat metallic wall.

“Orlam, what are you doing in that alleyway?” said a surprised voice Orlam easily recognized: Lethero. He came running toward Orlam quickly grabbing him and pulling him out. “You don’t want to go down that alley. That’s where the Devil’s Sons have there base.” Then Lethero looked at him curiously. “You not working for them, are you?”

“No,” Orlam replied, “I still don’t know who they are or these Moon Riders everyone seems so interested in. I was knocked out by a human and next thing I know I wake up in a strange room and asked questions about you and this Moon Riders base.”

“Did they get the address?” Lethero asked desperately.

At this, Orlam smiled a toothy grin. “You take me for an idiot, brother. I swapped it with a fake one. The real one is at my place.”

“Good,” Lethero said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Anyway come with me, your no longer safe in the open.”

“Why?”

“You coming out of that alleyway is one, but also I think it’s really time to show you something; The Truth.

“The Truth? Lethero, you got me lost here. What exactly is that?”

“Come with me and I’ll show you."

Hey, Ash! If I remember correctly, someone is currently critting at the same time as me. So forgive me if I repeat anything they say. ^^;

I'm in my critting mood!

As if on cue, Wolves stormed into the room from a hidden back door [s]once[/s] as soon as the voice stopped. [Combine these with a comma] Each in the most expensive armor that the Alphas could buy and armed with the latest and strongest electric batons.

[s]Then[/s] Orlam was quickly grabbed from behind and darkness fell over his vision as a piece of cloth was tied [s]up[/s] over his eyes.

“Do not struggle,” said a voice right beside him, [s]that sounded[/s] sounding as if it came through a radio.

Either delete comma or do what I suggested in bold.

[s]What little was[/s] The only words [s]spoken[/s] [b]said seemed to open a door or pass security.

“Count to ten before you remove your blindfold,” said a guard behind him, [Replace comma with period] “[s]if[/s] If you remove it beforehand, [or before 'then'] you will be shot and killed [Choose one of the two]. Do you comply?”

“Yes,” Orlam said as the handcuffs were removed and he was pushed forward.

He started counting slowly in his head and, as the ten seconds passed, he removed his blindfold and found himself in an alleyway.

He came running toward Orlam, quickly grabbing him, and pulling him out into the street.

“You're not working for them, are you?”

“No,” Orlam replied, [period, not a comma] “I still don’t know who either they are or these Moon Riders that everyone seems so interested in.

I was knocked out by a human and, next thing I [s]know[/s] knew, I [s]wake[/s] woke up in a strange room and was asked questions about you and this Moon Riders base.”

“Good,” Lethero said, letting out a sigh of relief. “[s]Anyway come[/s] Come with me, [Period, no comma ^^] [s]your[/s] You're no longer safe in the open.”

“You coming out of that alleyway is one, but also I think it’s really time to show you something; The Truth.

Replace semi with colon.

“The Truth? Lethero, you got me lost here. What exactly is that?”

I think "Lethero, I don't understand" sounds more realistic.

Overall, very well done. ^^ It's getting interesting. I can't wait to hear what Lethero has to say and how Orlam will react. There's not much to say. Your plot's developing well. Your humans are turning out pretty well too. Lethero's still a mystery to me, but I will understand him more and more as I read him.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!