Writer's Block (Revision 1)

Revision 1


Writer's Block

Trembling hands,
Dizzy mind,
Sweaty palms,
Heavy eyes.

Stressful soundless sleep.
Mind awakes, slowly.

My hand beholds my pen,
I write random reflections.

Clear, empty, wordless, thoughtless mind,
Repeating thoughts.
A thesaurus cannot help cure these repeating thoughts.

Thought. Thought.

Got it!

I rationalize, speculate, and conjure up new words to use.
Agony, treachery, torture of writer's block.
A scrumptious language I must soon learn.

Pitiful procrastinating perversion of the mind.

My cranium, bolted into my writing.

My thoughts,
Mailing themselves away from my mind.
No return address.

Well, what good am I as a postmaster of thoughts.

I try to manually think.

Think. Think.

Maybe...

What if I just stopped writing.

All of a suddenly stopped.

No more thinking.
No more thought process.
No more jumbled, good for nothing, use of words.


Exactly!

I stop writing.

I look out my window, noting the beautiful landscape of the world outside.

I made a pact.
I have to keep it.

I cannot write.

Oh, but the rolling hills and gently sloping--

Shut up, mind!

I'm through, done with.

I will never make it as a--

The rays of the sun stroke the land beneath.

The lakes and rivers nearby calmly flow, like the thoughts entombed deep within my mind.

That's it!

I must write...

The hills, the rivers and lakes, the valley - now, THAT is where I belong.

My mind becomes fruitful, offering a plentiful harvest of thoughts - many, many thoughts.

Stretching over the barren lands, through the trees, across the ocean to the ends of the world.

No mind like mine. No mind exactly the same. No mind as sublime as anyone else's.

What do you think?

I didn't like it very much. It was fine, but it was empty. It seemed like you were going a little over the top. I get writers' block too, but my throat doesn't usually close up. I think if you toned it down a little bit and checked out your rhythm, it would be a much much much better poem. Keep working on it! I'd like to read an edited version if you come up with one.
~abby~

This is, to be honest, A really dull poem.

I remember my priorities,
I sit down and try to write,

This was the part where I thought

"Oh good it's about to start"

And then it was just

This is me trying to write,
Oh, so trying to write,
Repeating, repeating.

I was bewildered

You're trying to be abstract and different but it really isn't working, I'm sorry, clearly you had writer's block when you wrote this so it wouldn't be amazing

One word…
Just one damn word!

I think.
Think…
Think. Think. Think.
Think!

The...

This was great, fantastic, made me really laugh, it was kind of worth the monotonous build-up and I really applaud it.

This IS a dare to be different though and it should be applauded, things sometimes don't work out but I think if you really worked on this, it'd be something completely unique and special

Make it more interesting please

Best part?

Well done! That made me laugh a lot, and thats normally how i feel when i write!

I actually did have writer's block when I wrote this; writer's block with this poem, and writer's block with an essay that I was writing at the time as well for school.

Yeah, it may seem boring and dull, but it's actually a memoir of me trying to write, if you think about it.

And writer's block is a seemingly dull and boring time, if you think about it.

I was thinking abstract when I wrote this poem, because I seriously was at a loss for what to write about, so I wrote about the idea of not being able to think of anything to write...

Writers Block is a tricky topic to pull off without being cliched, and I will give you some points for originality. Overall, however, this poem fails insofar as it offers nothing for the reader except a stretch of boring repetition that leads nowhere. There's no purpose to it except to write something, and as such it would be better left in a folder somewhere and used as a warm-up for something better.

Next time, try for something shorter and stronger, with clearer purpose and more imagery.

Cheers,
~bubbles

I think the key thing to note here is that it is actually impossible for a reader to connect properly with this on any level. Similarly the lack of succinctness in phrase and wording makes the whole poem a labour to read. Doubtless I am happy you were able to combat writer's block by getting this down, but this needs some serious shaping up before it can become anything more than a ramble on a page.

There, what do you think of it now?

I think everyone understands the whole writers block thing, but this is kind of lacking. Put more emotion into it maybe? Great use of words though

Okay, cool, thanks.