Hell/ Heaven

Hellaven



Heaven is my Hell and Hell is my home. The faith I strongly ad is now gone. I have no light but only dark. Yet everyday is my dark. my sould is tainted my heart is cold I feel my body growing old. My body is heavy as my heart is light... but the brightest of days is my darkest of nights,But I am cold and lonely with no place to go....I hate my home for only god dear knows. I run to find my light. Yet it is know where in sight. I scream with all my might, But it's only because of my fright. I then pass out for a long time to wake up and realize that it was only the dream that heart has seen when the love i once had is my own decease.


eh got bored so I decided to try poetry >.>

Hmmm... I would either put this into verse, or move it to the fiction section. (If you want it moved, I will move it for you. ^_^)

Poetry is always in verse form. You may also want to spell check this, and read over it before posting so you catch errors... If you do consider taking up poetry, keep in mind it is much more about the reader, and what you make them feel, rather than about ranting about your own problems. Poetry is a good way to get emotions out, but if you are using poetry to heal yourself, that usually isn't good poetry for others to read, if you understand what I mean.

Also, if you want to take up poetry, read poetry. It's the best way to learn. Longfellow, Bryant, Wilde, Keats, I can't really think of anyone else right... I don't have my books with me. Sorry! That is a poor list of poets.

*tacks Whitman and Frost onto Suzanne's list of poets*

I think that you could justify this being in the poetry section--there is, after all, prose poetry. But this as a whole just falls flat on its face.

You have this idea, but where are you taking it? The first line sounds interesting, but the rest of the piece just falls into rambling, abstract nonsense. We, the readers, have no idea what you're talking about. This could potentially work as an angry performance poem, but here it doesn't amount to much.

Also, proper spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. should be used.

-Colleen

Cade has it in a nutshell. All that's really left to add is, there's more to poetry than just getting bored and deciding to write some If you're really interested in beginning to write poetry I would second Suzanne's suggestion and recommend you go and read a few volumes *tacks e. e. cummings, Emily Dickinson, Wordsworth and William Blake onto the list* and then read some books about writing poetry, because as it stands you seem (no offense) to have little grasp of the genre.

Cheers,
~bubbles