Love vs Hate

A bloodstained field
Two armies stretching as far as the eye can see
The two generals
Love and hate
Love riding a white bareback stallion
And hate mounting a jet black, spine covered dragon

Hate unsheathes his sword
A cold, steel blade
With an ebanny stone set in the hilt
Love reveals her weapon
A shining golden bow
Engraved with angels with a quiver of arrows of deepest scarlet
Shining as bright as the sun

Hate attacks first
Row after row of fiery serpents
Large as tree trunks, slither forward
Hissing, flicking forked tongues
Each battalion led by demons
Their uniform
A bloodstained tunic and spiked chainmail
Black as night bearing torn pennants
Embroidered with punctured hearts

Love responds
Wave after wave of dazzling silver unicorns
Pearly white manes flapping in the wind
Golden horns lowered gallop forward
Their gleaming coats reflecting every ray of light
Waving plain white and gold banners

The two forces clash
Hate at first gaining the upper hand
Love falls back as hate launches a vicious attack
Unicorns fall as fangs sharp as daggers peirce their flesh
Love is beaten back
Back until it seems all is lost
Hate flashes an evil smile
He is invincible

Love does not surrender
She raises her white gloved hand and with a delicate finger points
Thousands upon thousands of snowy white doves soar above
Swooping and gliding
Gracefully diving and pecking as the serpents recoil
Hissing and spitting
Love does not move
She is still as stone

Hate snarls and jerks his dragon round
Both man and beast roar and the sun is blotted out
As countless ravens appear
Cawing menicingly and snapping their beaks
Talons beared they set upon the doves
Slashing and clawing
Love smiles warmly as all her forces turn to her
Seeking wisdom
She nods and suddenly the forces of love have a steely glint in their eyes

Hate cowers as love's might is forced upon him
He falls from his dragon and he finds himself staring into the face of love
Without even chance to blink
A dazzling scarlet arrow is buried deep in the black hole of his heart
He falls
And now the ground is covered with black feathers and reptilian bodies
Love stands triumphant

That was pretty good!
I have no nit-picks, because the grammar was flawless and it flowed pretty well.

However, it was very, very cliched. Everyone has learned to associate black with hate and white with love. Hate is always male, white is always female.
And of course, Love just has to have a white horse. But at least you didn't make Hate have a black one.
Another thing: the unicorns. Yuck. Unicorns are always pure and lovely, blah blah blah.

To remedy this clichedness, you should associate Love & Hate with other things. Surely there must be something else that comes to mind when you think of them other than light and darkness?!

But anyways, don't take that too harshly. It's a great poem but the theme is overdone. Had this not been such an overused theme, this poem would have been spectacular.

Keep writing,
Ayra

As Ayra said, it was cliche...a lot. The portrayal of love and hate was simplistic. You can show sophistication in your poetry by mixing it up a little. We've all seen the portrayal of love as pure and victorious with hate as evil and scary. Why not show us something new? Isn't there anything about love that sucks a bit, or anything about hate that can be good?

Also, use punctuation. Spell properly, for crying out loud. These things should go without saying.

-Colleen

Long, cliche and kind of boring to read. To be honest, I kind of gave up after a few stanzas.

If I were you, I'd take Cade and Ayra's advice and mix things up a little. Try for a different perspective, rather than the whole epic "good" vs. "evil" thing. Because we all know about shades of grey, yeah?

A good way to do this might be to brainstorm. What do you, personally, feel is the essence of love? Of hate? Why? Don't just write down the first thing that comes into your head. Explore a little. You may find that you see love differently than the way you've always been taught to see it. Perhaps, instead of a dragon, hate is a cuddly puppy that bites you when you least expect it; perhaps, instead of a white knight, love is a pair of slippers and an open fire. And perhaps the Hate!Puppy steals those slippers, and...er. Getting a bit sidetracked here XD

Basically, though, we want to hear your voice, not the voice of cultural norms and stereotypes. Try and come up with something unique and personal - because fresher is better

Cheers,
~bubbles

I liked it, but I got a little bored after a while. Also, I would take the advice given to you before and mix it up a little, perhaps make it funny. Or if that's not what you're going for, just something a bit different.

Nobody likes to read the same thing over and over, and I'm sure nobody likes to write what thehy've read. The poem seemed a little forced, as if you got sick of writing it and just kept going.