Fifth Wave of the Tide.
Editors Word.
In the midst of terrifying confusion, unmarketable locations and sporadic bouts of fear, the citizens of the sea have come together in mutual worriment over the encroaching war. To combat this, rather imaginable, threat the Sea Horse National Congress has reformed. These fears of another Sea War coming to pass have thrust the sea’s politicians to action.
Mayor Bob, of Sponge-town, has spoken up, in characteristic nasality, in defence of the new sea laws banning the use of sea weed in the civilian home: “We need to think first of the children! Such innocuous and addictive foods may alter them permanently.” Acknowledging the Mayor’s point, and reminding him of the task at hand, Prime Minister Skelp has advocated full military action, his trust in the elite Penguin Army fuelled his debate.
Of course, the legendary Penguin Army – hereafter known as P.A - is well known for its selective behaviour towards the seas conflicts. However, it is widely believed that the notorious enmity between the P.A and the Super Sea Cows – hereafter known as S.S.C – shall be the deciding factor.
The reason for this particular enmity has been debated for some time. Many believe it is the Penguins aversion to the S.S.C’s toxic soy sea milk that began the dislike. More still are fascinated by the dastardly Colonel Crab, his infamous hook claw having featured in many a-nightmare. It is, however, less known that the leader of the P.A - the mysterious Captain Cornelius – has been preparing for this new conflict for some time.
It is well known that the Prime Minister is not unintelligent, and thus it comes as no surprise that he has already prepared a mode of action against the terrorists. He believes that through strong backing by the allied nation’s armies that this war can be circumvented. As such he has organised some well needed protections.
The Super Sea Sponge Battalion –hereafter known as the S.S.S.- has been detached to provide protection to Coral Hopes; the large shark facility in the Southern Pacific. Without the Shark Science Centre the allied sea nations could not possibly have advanced to their level. To lose them in war would be a horrific blow to the whole sea.
Those other protections P.M Skelp has arranged have been hidden from the public, to save them from the undeniable fear that the extent of these protections offers.
In a shock tactic the P.A has just announced their refusal to enter the war. Great galloping walruses! This kind of unpatriotic, un-national, mean behaviour has not been seen since The Great Salad Wars of ’69. The P.A had only entered the fray because the Tofu Monkey Army had instigated a fracas between the mutant manatee/dugong hybrids the S.S.C. Their involvement ended the war in mere waves!
The excuse, bless the Great Whale’s fins! The unbelievable excuse is that of a celebration. It is the hundred year celebration of Humanitarianism for the Penguins. This, rather archaic, practice of human hunting, and indeed, eating, has endured over the years. Each and every Penguin abides by their own laws on human poaching, but this celebration is set to be awash in the sticky blood of the human species.
No doubt the lack of Penguin presence in this war shall doom the allied sea nations to their watery graves, marked only by the grains of their once prominent sand castles. No matter though, I’m sure the Penguins will live in peace knowing their slaughter of the inferior Humans has kept them from shedding their own blood.
After all, we all know, Humanitarianism is just an excuse.
Yours PATRIOTICALLY;
Sir Silver Slug.
Editor and Chief of the Daily Swim.
well, anyways it was a good piece all in all. keep on writing!!