My Werewolf Story Prologue

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A few edits from before. If you want to tell me to change something eg. description, please give a specific example. No offense to my other reviewers but "Description could use some work" doesn't help me that much.



Prologue

In the darkness of the summer night lay a large dark forest. The tips of the trees swayed in the gale, barely lit by the moonlight, and all you could see was moving blackness. Except for one small clearing.
Seven teenagers huddled together around a small campfire that they had proudly built themselves. The odour of the campsite, a mix of smoke, and unwashed bodies suggested that they had been there for several days, and the amount of gear suggested that they were going to stay for a while longer. Campfire songs echoed around the small clearing, the wind whipping the sound this way and that, as the teens put off going to sleep. As is usual for adolescents without supervision their schedules were extremely skewed. Staying up late and sleeping in til near noon meant that they would have trouble returning to the school schedule when the trip ended. Little did the seven youths know that this school year would be no ordinary one, and that the cause of that was quickly approaching.
A pair of red eyes very slowly advanced while the oblivious teens belted out yet another verse of ‘Herman the Worm’. Reflected in the firelight, the red eyes stopped just outside the dancing ring of light. And then, slowly, a large grey wolf came up to the fire pit. As it became visible in the firelight they finally saw it. Every one of them stared in shock as it walked into the circle of chairs and stared at them. One girl with sun streaked hair stood and opened her mouth.
“What is it d-”
She never managed to finish the sentence. The wolf leapt at the girl.

The next morning seven teenagers lay around the smoking remains of their fire, mangled and injured. Then, one by one, their wounds began to heal at a rapid pace.
Last edited by Swirl Antara on Sun Oct 07, 2007 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just never ever forget to live ok? Never ever forget to be happy when things maybe aren't the greatest. Yeah, that's right- because every moment is making you who you will be and is really worth it in the end. So just....live.




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Suspenseful. I like it. The description could use work though.
"The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart."
Miles Vorkosigan

"You can be an author if you learn to paint pictures with words."
Brian Jacques




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ok, you've got the right idea going. but I don't like the "weather report" at the beginning. I understand you're trying to set the mood, but I don't feel driven to read more. And don't use such descriptive sentences. great for acing English, not so hot for a novel.
"Do you ever think about dying?"

"No... I prefer to think about living"

--Ana's story by Jenna Bush



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