Blur

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The darkness surrounds him. Above, cold stars glare down, imperious; his breath steams in the air. There is no one else here. Had he got it wrong? He stares at the crumpled up piece of paper in his hand. No, it said very clearly to come to this place, this abandoned railroad. He stamps his feet, trying to shake off the cold, the fear.

Rusted tracks extend far beyond his range of vision as haunted whispers of wind trail around him he thinks he can the sounds of the thousands of trains that once stormed past this place, screaming and rattling to unknown destinations. The gurgle of laughter, of forgotten arguments and passionate embraces seemed to linger in the air.

He shivers. Maybe this was a bad idea after all, something wasn’t right here. His heart thuds painfully in his chest and he freezes as hears the scuff of feet on gravel. He wasn’t alone. He tried not to breathe, to move, to blend in as much as possible. Mouth dry, he decides to risk it.

‘Marlee, is that you?’ he hisses. ‘Come on, stop fucking with me.’

Something surges behind, a large bulk of night shifts and scuttles in the periphery of his vision. He jumps and turns, looking all around, paranoid now. His fine grey suit seems impervious to the cold, but he is sweating. Eyes straining, he peers into the gloom, desperate to make out something familiar. He sees a flash of red, a blur of movement, hears a breathless laughter that mocks and taunts him.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ he whispers. He fumbles in his pockets for his phone hurriedly. He brings it out, hoping against hope that the battery wasn’t dead, almost crying out loud when the glow of the screen lit up. It was just enough for him to see what was coming.

He screams.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko




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Lovely, I think flash fiction is my all time favourite fiction =D and this, this would ahve to be up there, I loved how I could feel how bad it was going to go. the atmosphere was wonderfully done.

One nitpick... a slightly silly one;

Jiggity wrote: Had he got it wrong?


see, a teacher once told me that "got/gotten" arent really words, in the sense that using them in a peice of fiction is not to be done, which I suppose, is why I picked this out. There are other ways, I believe better ways, of writing the same thing. Either way, if you are to use 'got' it should actually be 'gotten' in that context =D


Ahaha. All that aside. Loved it. Muchas kudos.

*hearts* Le Penguin. Wench Capt'n.
I like you as an enemy, but I love you as a friend.




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I shall take that point into account, Penguin, thanks.

Heh, I appreciate the comment.

Cheers
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko



People ask if I ever experience writer's block and I just have to laugh... that's my default position.
— Aaron Sorkin