....what have I learnt?

...what have I learnt?


Enjoy every moment is what I have learnt,

from lanes of my life even if i'm too young.

The sorrowful days,

and boring times,

are nothing

just a waste.

So lets enjoy from now

every moment of your life,

even if its boring

or time to cry.

To be happy

is a way of thanking

God for whatever......



~Ayman.f~

I liked the general idea of your poem, but i think it needs a little work to make it perfect.

One thing that could help is including some more punctuation as that tells the reader more easily when you're moving onto the next point and gives your poem more impact. For instance you should probably put a full stop after the line are nothing. Just a waste.

It just makes it slightly easier to read.

The second line doesn't make much sense to me, but that could just be because i'm not very good at interpreting poetry.

You're from the U.A.E.? That's awesome! I mean, I've never ever been there, but I've never met anyone from there before. THAT IS SO COOL!!



The first thing you should work on is just proper punctuation. Why are you capitalizing the beginning of some lines, but not others?

The ending too needs polishing. You end with "Thanking God for whatever." That puts the poem on a distinctly different tone than what you had before. That is, until the last line, the poem is very upbeat and joyful. But then you end with the word "whatever." That makes the speaker seem indifferent, callous even. Perhaps the poem would be better off with a more descriptive word, such as "everything"?

Anyhow, keep working at it! I'm guessing English is not your native language, so I imagine that is where some of the problems are arising. If that is the case, try posting one of your poems in your native language with a brief description in English. You never know if there is someone else on the site who speaks your language! Just be sure to note the language in the title.

Wel I can't post anything here in my language because my keyboard does'nt consist the alphabets of my language
And thaks for the reivew I 'ill try to work on it

For one, you don't need those line breaks in between unless it is for a stanza (one line a stanza does not make )

Also, I read this quote in a book about writing poetry, and right now I can't recall the quote--but basically it was saying the ideas (the idea that you should "enjoy every moment") do not make poems, but things do (nouns, actions, events, etcetera). If you looked at this in context to your poem, it needs something more than you telling us about this idea, you need to demonstrate it with things. Does that make sense? Oo I'm not sure it does.