World Vision. (Credited)

Jiggity · 2007-04-16T06:07:29Z

It was dark outside. The shadow of leaves, backlit by moonlight, cut across her face. She was sitting at her desk, staring thoughtfully outside. An antique lamp shone with a sturdy light. Red lips glistened as she smiled, pulled taut against her skin. She glanced down at it, fingers twitching, wanting to cup it, feel it, hold it close. She shivered; even in the cold, it burned. It had fascinated her for a long time now. She could remember it, twinkling above her cot, taunting her. Sometimes it smiled benevolently, eyed her lecherously, or merely stared. But the situation had changed now. It was no longer protected. Its owner was dead, and now she had it; a small, white ball, blue pupil ringed by colourful dots. She glared at it. It looked so small, pitiful, and helpless, rocking slightly on the polished brown of her desk. She would not fall for its lies. Picking it up, she brought it close to her lips. "Tell me your secrets," she whispered. It seemed to shudder in her hand. She smiled. It still resisted her. Grandfather had always been strong. It was what made her love him, and she expected nothing less from his eye: his world. A cold wind blew in, stirring her long auburn hair. The nape of her neck prickled. Her eyes narrowed. He was coming. She swivelled in her chair, to face her room, legs dangling above the ground. A pearly light began to form, swirling around the blank figure of a man. She watched, dispassionate. Slowly an image of the man came to life, as if being drawn by a giant artist. A light grey suit hung loosely off his tall frame, complete with glossy black shoes. His face and hands were tanned. His lips were thin with disapproval, his brow furrowed. There were deep black voids, where his eyes should have been. Inky shadow dripped, rivulets that snaked down his face. The girl shivered. Give it back. "Never," she said. "It's mine now." Give it back! The words were howled at her, his face contorted with emotion. "Go away, Grandfather," she said, unmoved. "You don't belong here." He didn't seem to hear her. GIVE IT BACK! A wall of wind slammed into her. She crashed into her desk, whimpering in pain, hand tightening around the eye. Bringing it up to her chest, she curled up around it. Her lips were tinged now with blue- it was freezing. The heat of the eye was not enough; she was going to die. She stared into the little orb, desperate. There was a world there, she knew. A deep blue sea, ringed by islands. It called to her. She bared her teeth; this is what she had strived for. Opening her heart, she gave in. She felt herself stretch to impossible lengths, before cramping into a tiny space. The pain was indescribable. Lily! But of the girl and the eye, nothing remained.

Jiggity

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Thu May 17, 2007 1:38 am

Jiggity says... · Thu May 17, 2007 1:38 am

Grading System:

Fail

Pass (P)

Credit (C)

Distinction (D)

High Distinction (HD)

I got a C for this, and that, incase your wondering, is fantastic. Its extroadinarily hard to get above a pass and to do with the subjects main lecturer as judge was really good. She said it was a tad over-written but on the whole it was very good. I'll post the edits she made.

Thanks again for all the help!!

Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko

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Trident

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Thu May 17, 2007 4:02 am

Trident says... · Thu May 17, 2007 4:02 am

Awesome! At first I was thinking C as in the A, B, C, D, F scale and I was like "Oh no!" Nice work. I'd definitely be interested to see the edits.

Perception is everything.

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bubblewrapped

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Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:22 am

bubblewrapped says... · Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:22 am

LOL I just saw this. Congrats on your grade, Jig! I cant believe I didnt see the connection between eye = world -_- I guess I was just too focused on the moments presented in the story and forgot about the big picture LMAO.

Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)

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