Sky Of Smoke- Chapter Two

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Maybe
Gender None specified
Points 10241
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Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:27 pm
Maybe says... · Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:27 pm
[entry deleted by May]
Last edited by Maybe on Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Be the cartoon heart. Light a fire, light a spark. Light a fire, flame in my heart. We'll run wild, we'll be glowing in the dark.
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PsychicNinja
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Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:03 pm
PsychicNinja says... · Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:03 pm
Yay!

I really like this next part!

The description is good, and the characters are evolving nicely! It's way better than the first chapter!

Keep it up.

I did notice some grammar mistakes, but i don't remember what they were!

Can't wait to read the next part!

~Rogue Jedi Master Timea
"Look, Ma. No hands"
"You haven't got a ma."
"Maybe a nice old lady will adopt me. I'm very loveable."
―Fi and Darman
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