You know you're going to have a bad day if...

Okay I was sitting here bored out of my mind when I came up with this. Funny things that predict how the rest of your day is going to be. I came up with some.

1. You know you're going to have a bad day when you call 911 and find that it's been disconnected.

2. You know you're going to have a bad day when you call Suicide Help Hotline and they put you on hold.

3...if your wife rolls over and calls you george when your name is steve.
4...the bird singing outside your window isn't a blue jay but a vulter.
5...you wake up naked on the front lawn
6...if at the family reunion you find that your wife is your cousin.

Okay that's all i've got for now. Your turn.

7... if still at the family reunion you find out the woman you've been cheating on with is your second cousin....

8 ) If you wake up to the smell of: 1. fire, 2. gunpowder, 3. your mother-in-law's cooking

hehe.....

You know you're going to have a bad day if...

9. ...people stop when they see you in the street, and either:
(a) point and laugh
(b) scream
(c) cry
(d) shoot you on sight
(e) all of the above

10. if you wake up and you're made of cheese.

wait if you get shot then you're going to die... then your day is complete...

10.) The End

You know you're going to have a bad day if:
1. you are gothic and find that your mom has gone through your closet and replaced everything in pink.
2. If you can't get the barney theme song stuck out of your head.
3. You wake up the next morning looking like Micheal Jackson.
4. If your mom is micheal jackson.
5. You cant stop barking when someone says your name.
6. If everytime you open your mouth someone screams.
7. if your presence makes everyone strip off their clothes and starts running around in circles singing opera songs
8. when you step outside your next door neighbor who happens to be an 80 year old woman walks down your street naked.

LOL LOL..

You know you're going to have a bad day if....

1) You're husband tells you he's leaving you for your therapist.

2) You walk into a public bathroom and everyone runs out screaming.

3) You ask a store worker if the dress you're trying on makes you look fat and they start laughing hysterically.

1) You walk into the kitchen and your MOTHER turns around and says to you "You look chunky."

2) You drop anything heavy on your toes....

You know you're going to have a bad day if....

1) you had a dream about trying to open a banana and failing horribly

2) John Scalzi calls to ask you to model for the latest alien species in his latest book

3)You suddenly remember that you have a twelve-page research paper to write, it's four in the morning, and you haven't prepared any notecards.

4) Whilst frying eggs, you suddenly realize what Bob had called you last night.

5) In the middle of the Pledge of Allegiance, you remember a skit from Saturday Night Live that involves Will Farrell and crashing parties and start laughing.

6) Despite all your attempts at prevention...you quote Black Mage in front of the person you want to impress most.

7) You wake up and think... "That ferret was mighty tasty."

I went a bit off, but lol...

You wake up in bed next to Tony Danza.

You know that you're going to have a bad day when you can't find your car OR your dog.

EDIT: Meaning that your dog took your car.

1. You know you're going to have a bad day when you wake up the morning after your wedding to find a stranger in your bed.

2. You find out you have just married your long lost twin brother/sister.

3. Your dad shoots your fiance at the wedding.

4. If when going down the aisle instead of the wedding march it's the funeral march.

5. The groom shows up in the wedding dress

6. You realize your gay the moment you are about to say i do.

7. Your fiance decides to be gay the moment he has to say i do.

8. Your fiance leaves you at the alter for the maid of honor/best man.

You know you're having a bad day when...

1) you puke out a lung and it starts raining toads.

Now that'd be a really bad day for everyone!