Ice Cubes #28

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miyaviloves
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Mon May 21, 2007 5:24 pm
miyaviloves says... · Mon May 21, 2007 5:24 pm
Taken down due to publishing
Last edited by miyaviloves on Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Alainna
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Mon May 21, 2007 5:32 pm
Alainna says... · Mon May 21, 2007 5:32 pm
WOW.........WOW...........WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

I love ice cubes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

I was waiting for that kiss to happen, literally on the edge of my seat!!! I like the way they both got a little angry with each other at first, that is very real!!!

Can't wait for more!!!
Alainna
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M.B.Author
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Mon May 21, 2007 5:41 pm
M.B.Author says... · Mon May 21, 2007 5:41 pm
It was good. Keep up the good work.

-- M.B.Author
Listen to advice and except discipline so that you
may be wise for the rest of your life
-- Proverbs 19:20
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miyaviloves
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Mon May 21, 2007 5:54 pm
miyaviloves says... · Mon May 21, 2007 5:54 pm
Wow quick replies! thankyou both!

Alainna - glad you are enjoying Ice Cubes! And I'm glad that you keep reviewing and giving advice, it meas a lot to me!

MB - thanks again!

Meevs
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Jules the jester
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Mon May 21, 2007 6:44 pm
Jules the jester says... · Mon May 21, 2007 6:44 pm
Thumbs up. Looking forward to more.
Man:George look at this.
George: look at what?
Man: Ha made you look!
George: Idiot!
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JC
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Mon May 21, 2007 8:45 pm
JC says... · Mon May 21, 2007 8:45 pm
laughing at him,not with him


I gotta go, I'm in math right now, and shouldn't be on the comp....oh well!

Must. Eat. Food.


-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett
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Insomnia
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Sun Jun 03, 2007 9:57 pm
Insomnia says... · Sun Jun 03, 2007 9:57 pm
Okay, maybe Jamiy isn't going to get hurt... yet lol. This chapter was good, first time in a while that he actually looked like he could be happy.

“You actually came!”

I couldn't tell if he was amazed or teasing Jamie there. Oddly enough, it actually adds to the suspense. :)

its that annoying kind of rain that you can barely see,

*it's, and I love that rain! xD

“The grass feels nice when its wet doesn’t it?

*it's, again

you have you’re arms crossed

You're should be your :)

So no, it was not a waste.”

Just to make the dialogue more natural, you should probably put wasn't. Not actually wrong, but I guess I feel like being very thorough lol.
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