Wow. Okay I still don't think Jon is crazy. But he is hitting MANY MANY breaking points and this electroshock therapy is screwing with his thoughts. His thoughts were very interesting Lol, I loved the things he was thinking about but he's still the same Jon. He DID accept...not what I thought he'd accept but he accepted something at least. He's spent this time worrying and it might feel comforting to know that he's finally accepted something.
Though maybe, when he wakes up, it won't feel so comforting, because then he'll be even more confused? Gah, I just loved this one! It's showing so much of what Jon is feeling on the inside and he's no longer hiding anything. This is like the raw Jon.
Now I'm really not sure what's to happen when Jon sees the real Kyle. Kyle will have to convince him of a lot and he might not even believe any of it. Jon needs to get out of this place, maybe when he's done with accepting everything though. When he figures everything out and accepts every single thing instead of hiding it all, he'll be ready I think. I DON'T know if they'll let him out though is the thing, lol. If he's here to be "fixed" aka "analyzed", or if he's here to be tested as a lab rat for some experiment. Ooo I can't wait for the next one!
~Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
eeee. I love Pros ^_^ I really cannot wait to have a nice fun hard back copy in my lap for me to stay up all night with as I read it over and over again. So good!
Jon laid in the cot for what felt like days
laid in? Why not, lied on?
Also, your tenses were switch from future to present to past (so I think?) and it bothered me.
See! I started again, for the second time.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
