Blaze With Me

I intend to Blaze forth,
Out of Fire and out of Ash.
I am a Phoenix henceforth;
Forgotten and Rehashed.

My path is but a dream,
Yet I continue without a care,
From mountain to stream;
my Embers will show you where.

This is good. The poem shows a spirit, which is obviously what you meant, yeh?

What does rehashed mean?

I liked how you used Fire, Ash, and Embers, it really fits.

There's not much to crit so that's all

Good job

Wild

I like the idea, but you really need to fix the rhyme with ash and rehashed in the first stanza. Also, rhyming forth with henceforth is basically the same as rhyming forth and forth, which isn't really a rhyme. I think the "Yet I continue without a care," line is a little long and doesn't really fit the structure of the poem.

Not sure if I like the rhyming structure, but it doesn't sound forced. I didn't even pick up on the "henceforth" and "forth," but the "ash" and "rehashed" caught my attention.

I thought it was good actually. Short and sweet; a pithy little poem. It sounds like you have two contrasting themes playing out here, and it works well. On one hand, you have the narrator dreaming of soaring above all and blazing forth. But on the other hand, he seems stuck, or at least of the notion that any such "blazing forth" would go unnoticed at best.

I really like the shortness of it. However, in a short poem you need to make sure each line is killer. Or maybe thats just my opinion.

Now I think your first stanza is really truly remarkable. But for a two stanza poem you need a much better ending.

"My path is but a dream,
Yet I continue without a care, "

This just seems really blatant and out of place to me. The rest of your poem is visually stunning but this is just, well, there. It doesn't add anything to the poem. But it DOES detract.

"From mountain to stream;
my Embers will show you where."

This line, although visually stimulating, is not the BANG you really want with a peom this short. If you want to go out quietly I think you might have ot throw a middle stanza to calm down the reader from the first. If not then I think you should scrap the last stanza and redo it as a whole, with the same idea in mind.

So um... yeah. Thats my critique for the day!