Tears

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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 4
I blinked hard,
Trying to stop my sadness in its tracks.
I opened my eyes again,
But my sight clouded over.

It was too late,
Tears fell from my eyes.
They dropped like liquid crystal,
Gentle and warm on my cheek.

Why did it have to happen like this ?
She had so much to do, so many dreams.
I remembered the day when it happened,
She just slipped away...
:cry:




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Gender Male
Points 32885
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Wasn't oh-so-bad. Some things a little cliche, like stopping something in its tracks and "liquid crystal".

But something major: take out the emoticon. It's poetry, we already get the sadness from the words.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 4
That isn't part of the poem ( obviously ) i just felt like adding it.
* I like rainbows *
He He He !




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 32
It's okay, but I think the words could carry more meaning. They feel kind of hollow. It jumps around a little, too, instead of flowing.
Problems are like mould; if not stopped,they grow and spread until even the air is filled with the poison of their spores.



Knowledge is power.
— Francis Bacon