Well, hmm. I have to say that this isn't really poetry. There doesn't really have any rhythm, there is no imagery--it's just lacking any poetic elements at all. My suggestion would be to check out the "Poetry Discussion & Tips" section of the forum and also to read some published poems and try to imitate them so you get an understanding of poetry vs. words.
But don't ever insult something you wrote. Other people may, and maybe they are right, and maybe they are wrong. But when it comes to something you wrote, always like it. You don't have to call it good or perfect, just notice where you need improvement and learn from whatever mistakes you made.
Honestly, I couldn't even see that as a children's song.
Poetry is a form of expressing your emotions. This...poem...was dead. Completely void of emotion. Dull. Painful. No feeling.
It didn't rhyme, it didn't have a rhythm. That's fine, freeform poems are great. But even freeform poems have a point. When I finish reading a poem, I should be in a different place emotionally than when I started. You should be making a point, whether it's "Where would we be without learning?" or "I love my boyfriend" or "The world is out to get me." You should be saying something.
If you completely rethink this poem, you could do something cool, maybe remembering learning to read, and how important that skill is to you?
And don't putyourself down. That's our job. Believe in yourself. Listen to advice, but tell yourself that you can create something wonderful, and harsh criticisms are helping you become a stornger writer.
"The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky."
~Solomon Short
"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
~Oscar Wilde
