Mr. Right.

Mr. Right

Who is Mr. Right?
To me… well
Mr. Right would be tall and handsome
Mr. Right would know how to treat a girl
Mr. Right would not get jealous over a silly little thing like hugging other guys.
Mr. Right wouldn’t accuse me of hanging on other guys!
Mr. Right would love you for who you are; not for who he wants you to be.
Mr. Right would care for you and stand up to your crazy ass mom.
Mr. Right would be there through thick and thin.
He would go places with you
He would make you smile. Even without saying or doing anything.
He would think about you all the time.
He would call you after you left any were just to make sure you are there.
He would let you cry on his shoulder even for the stupidest reasons,
Mr. Right would come cook dinner for you when you are alone.
Mr. Right would start the fire because you still can’t.
He would call you to see how your day was even though he was with you all day.
He would find a way to make you laugh even though you tell him that you’re not in the mood.

Oh gosh. I'm going to be really harsh, okay?

To me, this wasn't a poem...at all. It was like something I would receive in a chain letter and quickly delete rather than read at all.

It's just...not a poem. It's redundant, cliche, and had no structure in ANY way. You can debate, and say not all poems need structure (which is true) but you must know the rules before you can break/bend them. You must learn how to write a poem with rhymes, how to write a poem that has rhythm, you must learn how to effectively use different types of stanzas and forms, before you can start working at free verse. And...even so, this isn't really free verse. But, I said what I thought above.

My suggestions are (and you really want to pay attention here, this will help you) 1. read, read, READ poetry. Even if its from YWS, and thats probably the best. Read the poems, see what kind of responses they get. Why are the poems good? Why are they bad? What can you do to make your poetry like that? 2. Go look around the writing tips section (and throughout the internet in general) for articles on writing poetry. This will help you out a lot. 3. try to write a poem(s) with structure, rhythm, rhyme. It's hard, but that is the point. Nothing in writing should be easy, otherwise you aren't putting out your best work.

A poem should have feeling, not just words talking...People read poetry to feel. They want to come away with an emotion, a though, a new out look on life. This does nothing for me. Just makes me think of an annoying chain letter. But, I hope my suggestions will help you in the future, and that my opinion isn't too upsetting. Honesty is the best policy, oui?

This is a list, and a shameful one at that. Has as much essence as a grocery list might. Which is ironic considering the topic at hand.

I agree with Claudette. Take time to read poetry. No one is going to care about what you have to say unless you say it right.

Forget what you may feel poetry is. It's tediously harsh on structure and rhythm.

Not shopping for boyfriends.

yes I agree with them this really did seem like a list.
also you had way to many Mr. Rights and He Woulds.
so yeah you should read up on poetry so you will understand how to write it and not make it sound like a list. keep trying.