Whoa! This was amazing! Ah, now my head is ringing with what's to happen next. You surprise me everytime I read another post!
I love how you had Kyle's ass kicked, I mean, it was bound to happen at some point. And the way it happened, well I just really wasn't expecting it. Everyones personalities are bursting out now and then adding the new characters is making it more and more interesting everytime.
And your conflicts are superb. I would have never thought this was going to happen, or the Sarah thing... I just love this, I think I might be Chionophobia's biggest fan! (that depends on you though, lol)
Keep at it!
-Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
I've returned And to what? To only be the proof reader and complimenter, I'm sure.
“It isn’t you fault, you know.”
Your fault.
Thats all I caught.
Really, it has lost the boom-bang of how it started; I still remember how much I loved ch 1. But despite that, its STILL Ch, and it gets deeper with each part.... I don't see how this could not get published. Sure some people may argue with the style, lack of dialog tags, constant action, etc. but it has a story to it that is so deep and meaningful to people, on an emotional level, that style doesn't matter. And it's constantly changing, constantly surprising the hell out of the reader.
I keep asking you, you never answer. How is it going with the Agents? you really need to get this published. The unconventionality of it makes it so good.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
And to what? To only be the proof reader and complimenter, I'm sure.
