i've been walking down a road my whole life. in fact, this road is my life. i've never quite seen as far down the road as i would like to, but i keep walking. and for as long as i've been walking down this road, there's been a handrail in case i stumble. no matter how stubbornly i would protest that i could balance on my own, when i did slip and stumble, that handrail was always there for me to grasp. however, i realized that the handrail wasn't as steady as i had thought. its firm foundation was gnawed through by worms, being held up on lies and greed. and yet, everyone i know who is on a similar path as mine is telling me that the handrail is fine, that it's sturdy and strong, that i can trust it no matter what. but i can't shake the feeling that this handrail isn't real, and it's what others have placed to making the trek down this road easier. so i've decided to stop grabbing to the handrail. i can get used to balancing on my own. and i can get used to this feeling of helplessness. i want to choose how i walk down my road.
