Chionophobia #22 /P

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Incandescence
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 915
Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:56 am
Incandescence says... · Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:56 am
Removed.
Last edited by Incandescence on Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson




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Emerson
Gender Male
Points 32885
Reviews 2058
Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:08 am
Emerson says... · Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:08 am
*Screams* BRAD I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

But I love Ch so much... *melts with love* wtf? She wants to have the fear of snow? *screws up eyes* I hate so you much! I can't wait a week! *sobs*

Anyway....

She slid the phone in her large Versace handbag and applied the lipstick.
into

She walked—each step precise, unnatural—right to the elevator.
To me, being precise and unnatural is odd. precise is like exact. unnatural makes me think of someone walking very strange and not "exact". They just don't fit together for me. Maybe they do for you?


I really want an explanation sometime soon. And a real hard back copy. But that can wait.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




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Riedawriter23
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Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:14 am
Riedawriter23 says... · Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:14 am
That was wicked awesome. I finally here the title of your story being put into play and it isn't even what I would have guessed. The way you described it made me want chionophobia. lol. I loved how you put Sarah in this, she acted like she still felt love for Jon but then you realize that she's a killer. WOW. Can't wait for you next. I'm incredibly desperate.
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*

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A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky.
— Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson