Oh, I'm so pleased to see these two characters interact! It seems like they're old friends from college. Jonathan is getting married to Sarah, but it's awkward because Kyle used to date her?
The dialogue in this one is especially good.
I don't have much else to say, and I've got to go, but I do like the contrast between the two men.
Colleen
"My pet, I've been to the devil, and he's a very dull fellow. I won't go there again, even for you..."
2. The action seems to happen faster than reality permits, they get to this place, have drinks, go to waffle house, fight. And it all happens in what feels like (from reading the story) five minutes. Though it was interesting.
3. I'm glad I laughed. You are very funny.
4. I get lost in the dialog just a wee bit and I think it would be nice if there was some more action dropped here and there within the fight, just maybe.
5. I'm done making this list.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.” ― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
I really liked this one as well. I was glad the characters actually met each other and I love the sense of humour that Jon took on in the beggining. Great dialog!
I love, love.
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sometimes i'm like "I should say something quotable to make it into the quote gen" but then I feel bad because quote gen quotes are very spontaneous — theromanticchemist
