Playing with fire or playing it safe?

Playing with fire or playing it safe?
Chapter One: Cady Harrison

His breath on my neck was warm... and a scarlet red flushed upon my cheeks as his nose gently brushed mine. I clenched my small fists tightly together and prayed to God that he wouldn't be able to hear my thumping heart. Closing my green eyes, I tried to calm myself down.
What the hell was wrong with me?
The emotions flowing through me as his soft pink lips pushed into mine, could have made me cry and yet, I didn't pull away.
I felt myself kissing him back.
Why?
I didn't even like him. Infact, I absolutely detested him and here I was, my arms limp at my sides, my lips on his, his hands on my waist... a tight grip of longing.
Why wasn't I pushing him off and running away?
Why wasn't I objecting and telling him how I felt?
How did I feel?
The hatred I had for him only five minutes before had now dissolved and been replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling as his feelings surged into my body. Setting me alight.
Love?
No,
For him?... NEVER.
So why the long, passionate, affectionate clinch with him in the middle of the darkest woods inthe village of Green Grove?
Why had I agreed to stop walking and talk to him?
Why had I not yelled at him, screamed and slapped him for making my life hell for the past year?
Why was I playing with fire?
Instead, I had melted into his arms and fallen under his power once more.
Let him win again.
Let him take control.
Let him make me the fool that I am now.
"Katie." He whispered into my ear, twisting a strand of my brown hair around the crook of his little finger.
I looked up into his blazing, blue eyes and snapped out of my warm, glow of a trance.
Tugging my hair free I abruptly jumped back from him as if scolded.
I had let it happen all over again. Just like the last time.
"Hey, what's up?" He started, approaching me cautiously.
"Come on Katie, what's up?"
I narrowed my eyes and backed away from him once again, my back up against a large Oak. The bark felt rough as it pressed into my jacket and drew blood.
"My-name-is-Cady." I hissed, watching his every move.
His ruffled blonde hair gleamed in the sunlight that was escaping from a gap in the overhead knarled trees.
The only source of light in the entire wood.
"I know, I'm sorry." He answered, stepping into the gloom and letting it swallow him whole. He was smirking to himself.
A devastatingly dreamy smile and a flash of white, perfect teeth.
"Its just so American and, we're English." He added.
I blushed again. He could always make me feel so stupid and pathetic.
He advanced towards me again, but I had nowhere to retreat to, the bark pressed into my spine harder and I turned my head away from him as he swooped down infront of my face.
"I don't want..." I began, ready to reject his advances this time.
"Oh but you do." He nodded stroking my cheek, his thumb touching my burning skin...
He traced my lips with his finger, then slipped his hand underneath my hair onto the nape of my neck.
"No." I squeaked, I could hardly speak or hear myself over my hammering heart rate.
"Yes." He replied softly, now cupping my chin with both hands and tilting my head back.
And for two seconds.. I really wanted him to kiss me. I was desperate for his touch. I was aching for his body and the emotion surging between us....
And then... it was gone.
He pulled away mid-kiss, turned on his heel and strolled back through the clearing towards the village...
Leaving me standing alone, backed against an old Oak tree... lonely... and without a clue of what to do or how I was feeling... shaking with anger but also upset.
And there, once again I knew, I was back to square one.Just as I always had been.


That week-end brought glorious weather and a heatwave that caught the villagers off guard. Away went the umbrellas and water-proofs and out came the parasols and beach towels.
Green Grove was buzzing with people in their gardens at the posh end having barbecues in their identical symmetrical houses, sun bathing by their outdoor pools and their children splashing around with armbands and colourful floats.
At the poor end it was deserted. Most people were making the most of the beach.
I had to half jog to keep up with Imogens large brisk steps as she had a lot more height than me and the longest legs I have ever seen.
A friend I had had for all my life, Imogen was truly family to me, the only friend I had in Green Grove.
She was everything I wished I was. Confident, funny and she stood out of the plain crowds of teens in the village. She had bright purple, spiked hair and a ring through her nose and lip. Her large round, brown eyes were huge and full of expression and her face was animated with happiness.
Every girl envied Imogen. She wasn't pretty or beautiful or perfect or delicate and charming. She was quite quirky, outspoken, opinionated and a rebel.
Her baggy black jeans hung low, her converse trainers a striking pink colour with lucid yellow laces, her camoflauge top that wouldn't look out of place in the army. She was daring, different and had a vitality about her that made people feel drawn to her.
I sighed.
Imogen often told me that if she looked like me she wouldn't feel she had to be outrageous in her appearance.
She often asked if she could style my glossy brown hair and she often talked of being envious of my intriguing green eyes.
"And you have such a femenine figure Cady."
She would moan from time to time.
"A guy likes a good arse and tits." She would smile.
"How would you know?" I asked also smiling.
"We both know what team you bat for!"
Imogen laughed and shook her head.
"Well, how else would I have found out what side I was on?"
She pressed laughing.
I looked at her and my smile vanished.
Imogen noticed my sudden discomfort.
"Oh sorry Cady hun, I totally forgot, I..." She silenced as well.
As we walked the remaining distance to my house we remained in silence.
I watched the pavement and avoided eye contact with her until we reached my doorstep.
"I'm sorry Cady. I forgot about you and... well, I just... I'm sorry."
She twiddled her fingers together and turned around to walk back down the gravel drive, her converse trainers scuffing the stones and unsettling them.
I let myself in and ignored Milly my kitten as I trudged upstairs to my room.
As I lay on my double bed and felt secure inside my lilac bedroom walls, I let my mind wander to the year before....

I had been invited to a rave and a music festival in Reading one weekend with a group of guys and girls from the local college. Imogen was a student there anyhow and asked me to tag along.
Seeing as I had recently passed my driving test, I drove Imogen there and we booked into a hostel for the two nights we were going to be there.
That's when I met Owen.
I recognised him from Green Grove and immediately he came over to where Imogen and myself were standing mingling with the crowd who were also awaiting to go to the festival.
He singled me out straight away and we got talking.
"Hi Katie." He smiled, a blinding flash.
"Cady." I corrected him with a smile in return.

LOet him take control.

typo!

My-name-is-Cady

I'm not sure why you use dashes, but if its to give affect, the word 'hissed' does that for you so no need to put in dashes.

his thumb touching my burning skin, his touch as cold as ice.

the contrast of burning, and cold as ice doesn't work here, though I know what you're going for.

and without a clue of what to do or how I was feeling

All over again

I'd take this out, that's real repetitious

in their identical, parallel, symmetrical houses, sun bathing by their outdoor pools and their children splashing around with armbands and colourful floats.

Identical and parallel are rather synonymous, so I'd use one, or the other. Unless you mean that they are literally parallel, across from each other. Than reword it perhaps.

Her large round [comma] brown eyes were huge and full of expression and her face was animated with happiness.

"And you have such a [b]feminine [spelling...don't worry, I spell bad too!][b] figure Cady."
She would moan from time to time.
"A guy likes a good arse and tits." She would smile.
"How would you know?" I asked also smiling.
"We both know what team you bat for!"
Imogen laughed and shook her head.
"Well, how else would I have found out what side I was on?"
She pressed laughing.
I looked at her and my smile vanished.
Imogen noticed my sudden discomfort.
"Oh sorry Cady hun, I totally forgot, I..." She silenced as well.

this is hard to follow now and then, use more dialog tags as in 'she said' or 'i said' so we could know who's speaking. And, you don't need paragraphs after the dialogue if 'Imogen laughed and shook her head' follows the dialog.

The story is so compelling! I'm really excited to read 'part two' My only question, do all three parts fall together some how? You might want to give more evidence as to how they do. is this 'Owen' the guy from the first part? I really liked how in the first part, a lot of it flowed with her thought. That's hard to pull off but you did great. I enjoyed this so much, it doesn't come off to fake or forced or anything; just beautiful.

I'll get around to part two ASAP!

Thanks so much, I made the alterations etc. glad you liked it

This is a good story so far- the style is easy to read, yet you do quite a bit of showing instead of telling. How do you do it? Hmm..

A few things I noticed, though:

- True to its romantic roots, every character is pretty in this story, even the characters we aren't supposed to like. Usually when you hate someone, you pick out every minute flaw- and if you want to bring out Cady's grudging, it's best you reflect in the narrative what she thinks. It's first person, after all!

- I might also change Cady's name. Even in America, 'Cady' and 'Katie' sound the same, which makes for a confusing line of dialogue that's supposed to be a comeback. Might I suggest 'Caddie'? That's a good ol' American name...

- The sections of the text don't seem to coincide at all- you have the kiss scene at the beginning, which is good, and then you have a description of Imogen, which is also good...but what do they have to do with each other? I take it that Imogen is a lesbian (or at least that's what I picked up), so there's not even a possible foreshadowing of romantic conflict. Add in a segway, such as Cady becoming upset after her encounter in the woods and running to Imogen because she always knows what to do. Something so that the story has a nice interconnectedness to it.

Well...on to Chapter Two!