untitled

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 18178
Reviews 1259
estranged breeze filters to my heart
sweeps away the carcass
fills the vacuum.
companionless
abandoned, on it's own,
it swims round
without direction,
without hope.
unaccompanied it floats
without a hint of a smile.
hopeless, helpless,
bereft of anything worthy.

you are the broken compass,
the locked door
the dead spark
you are the literary tragedy
the godforsaken object
that ran from me
you are the inconsolable
the desperate
the pitiful, miserable, wretched

you are me

--------------

Ack. I'm feeling too emotional at the moment.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6090
Reviews 1258
'you are me'....

at first i thought, what the heck, but then i seriously started to cry...OMG firestarter!

no real critique...might think of some once i go get a Kleenex™

(had to put the ™ lol)
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 145
This is really awesome, and the ending really threw me.

Overall, really awesome. It flows nicely, and I love the fact that there are no capitalizations. Maybe...I don't know, just a thought...what if the "m" in "me" in the last line was capitalized?
That could be interesting...

But that's my style, possibly not yours, so feel free to leave it. I would never dream of changing your poetry.
"A poet in love is best encouraged in both capacities or neither." ~ Jane Austen, Emma.



Is anyone else desperately waiting to see themselves in the quote gen?
— TheCursedCat