England's Fall

It was the sixth of June that fateful day,
The sky was dark across from the UK.
The Allies attacked, the Nazi’s faltered,
In their trenches, the Nazi’s cowered.
The beach ran red with many soldiers’ blood,
The allies kept coming as if in a flood.

In a last and daring attempt, the German’s ran,
Out onto the beach, and across the sand.
The allies fired, but no number of rounds,
Could forestall the German bloodhounds.
Into the ally’s lines they sprinted,
Back the allies fell. Their lines, they yielded.

Back into the sea, and into their boats,
Cruising away to the safety of the gunboats.
From up above, a whine so loud,
It rattled even the sturdy ships’ shrouds.
The German planes came out of the clouds,
And fired their guns, into the suffering Allied crowds.

Killed they did, most of the men,
Who’d survived the beach, even the airmen.
Those who died, were left to lay,
On the cold deck, rolling with the ships’ heavy sway.
Took cover, the others quickly did,
Down on the deck, right amid,
The dead and dying, those who were not as lucky,
Down below the railings high, where the fires made it smokey.

Across the sea, the Germans rode,
Their boats tough and sturdy as stone.
Up the ships’ hulls, they scaled with ease,
As the planes’ attack did cease.
Captured the ships, the Germans won,
The Battle of Normandy, before the setting sun.
On towards England, they rode with speed,
On the ships, they’d stolen with great need.
The planes had left, to soften the coast,
The Germans now had reason to boast.
The English coast was long since shattered,
When the Germans arrived, they saw the result of the planes’ labors.

England’s defense was ended for good,
The coast defended for ages withstood,
All the attacks of overwhelming enemies,
Resist, they could not, the German Nazis.
London was captured, its last will long gone,
The bloody war’s conclusion was forgone.
Germany won, its might was unrivaled
So long ago, the war’d begun, then, for power, a country, it struggled.

Haha! A poem about my birthday! I feel honored...

Okay! Now the nit-picky stuff...

When you have a plural noun, you do not put apostrophes between the second to last consonant and the "s." So it should be Nazis, not Nazi's. By the way, the constant possessive apostrophes are annoying. Vary the form and you might have something. You did this for the most part, but you'll want to check it a little harder.

Also, when you rhyme, don't repeat yourself. So if you use "men" don't have the next line's last word be "airmen." Because we'll read that as "air-men" and put the stress on the last word. If you want to put in the effort of rhyming, put more effort into varying the words.

Watch out for words inside the rhyme that rhyme with the last words. For example...

London was captured, its last will long gone,
The bloody war’s conclusion was forgone.
Germany won...

The last line,

See? Instead of the second stanza, you could have easily ended with "won" instead of repeating yourself with "gone."

Watch out for clunky lines. The lines that are super long are even more clunky than the rest, which is bad because the last line is so awkward, and that should be your conclusion!

And spell "England" right for the title.

Still... alternative historical poetry? Intersting!

The flow's broken up a little sometimes and occasionally the rhyming sounds forced but it's still cool. I liked it, especially the alternative history idea and most of the rhyming.