Strengths, Smarts, and Subconsciousness

“Levin,” Jerica corrected. “And yes. He finds it funny.”

"Why?" Evaline asked. "Why does he hurt you?"

“Because he’s terrible and wants terrible things to happen.” Jerica sighed, cracking her neck. “And he wants me to do them for him. And I won’t… well… I try to make it less terrible at least.”

Evaline was quiet for a moment, staring straight ahead and focusing on the skyline.

"Maybe the pain he inflicted on you is what makes you stronger," Evaline said calmly. "Maybe it's a necessary pain done out of love."

Jerica laughed abruptly. “‘Your sole worth lies in your ability to be useful. You’re useless if you won’t execute people.’” Jerica quoted. “Grade A love right there.”

"...And do you believe that?" Evaline asked.

“It’s the only use of the King’s Assassin,” Jerica said. “I like to pretend that there’s something more to Jerica. But you’re probably right.”

"Maybe you have to run away to find your true worth," Evaline said, still staring straight ahead.

“He hurts people when I’m gone.” Jerica thought back to the brief reprieve she’d had with Aerik. “It’s better if I’m there to distract them. I’m strong enough to handle their nastiness.”

So Jerica couldn't run away. She was trapped, blackmailed into staying or else other people -- perhaps her loved ones -- would suffer in her absence.

"Are you? Are you strong enough?" she asked.

“Lasted this long.” Jerica grinned, trying for nonchalance. “Biryn’s not gonna be the one to do me in, I can promise you that.”

Evaline was quiet for another moment, fathering her courage to ask her next question. "Biryn is your uncle. He's your family," she said slowly. "Do you love him?"

“Biryn is my uncle’s best friend,” Jerica corrected. “And I hate both the bastards. The world will be a better place once they pass out of it.”