Okan's Sacrifices

I decided to juggle two novels at a time.

Table of Content
Summary
Main Characters
Magic System
States
Okan's Sacrifices (Major Spoilers)
Antagonists (Major Spoilers)
Side Characters

Summary

Halia Purewater is your ordinary sixteen-years-old girl living in the extraordinary place, Nightwhisper Island. She enjoys the town’s unique form of magic intriguing silence. She is a fresh student at Nightswhisper’s Ladies School, moving to the Island with her family a month ago. She aims to become a prominent mage professor.

Then, her roommate, Sofeas Brightstar, disappears. Having it your best friend is hard enough; the fact that no one cares about it is another. The school staff tells her this is a ritual in the island – each year, a girl disappears as a sacrifice to Okan, the god who has blessed them with magic. It is said that the chosen girl will be placed in Heaven and become one of Okan’s many children.

As someone who is relatively new in the island, Halia does not believe the story. The same goes to Saeem Brightstar, Sofeas's older brother who has just graduated from the university and came home to find his dear sister missing. He has always disliked this ritual part of the town but keeps it inside for fear the town's citizens will isolate him. He hopes Halia’s disbelief is strong enough to help him discover the secret behind the disappearing – and stop it.

Main Characters

Halia Purewater

A former inhabitant of the state of Greenlight, Halia Purewater moves to Nightwhisper Island with her family due to the transition of the work of her father, Dameen Purewater. She enrolls in the town's only school for girls, Nightwhisper's Ladies School, in the hopes of becoming a prominent mage professor. The school has been known to produce people in such profession, the examples being Fahlee Swiftblade and Reva Fierythorn.

Perhaps due to her attraction to theories and research, Halia has the tendency to mind others' business. She is fascinated to know people's stories, and this excitement is the reason why Sofeas Brightstar befriends her and becomes more than her roommate. Halia's cheerful composition juxtaposes the passivity and introversion nature of the Nightwhisper Island's inhabitants, making her the focus of attention in occassion.

She is not one to stand or sit doing nothing, so exploring the island is also another habit of her. She likes to keep a notebook and a pencil with her to map the place, despite knowing there is an official one for Nightwhisper Island. Dameen decides this habit of her is dangerous since she tends to go alone, so she encourages Halia to bring Sofeas with her. The time they spend together around the town also strengthens their friendship.

As preferences, Halia likes yellow and purple colours. She prefers hot chocolate and suprises, as well as free food and clothes. She doesn't have a keen sense of fashion, choosing to wear whateve is the most practical at the time. She also doesn't restrict herself when it comes to self-expression, which is, again, at odds with the Nightwhisper Island's general attitude, and more weird considering she is a girl. Despite being frowned by adults and elderly because of that, boys find it attractive and vies for her attention.

Saeem Brightstar

A 23-years old man who studies at Highsky University, ran by the Highsky state, capital of Everglory. Upon graduation, he comes back to Nightwhisper Island to check on his sister only to find out she has gone missing. Despite being the town's native, he secretly dislikes its annual ritual, which is letting any girl disapper as a sacrifice to Okan, the god that grants them magic. He also thinks the island's education is subjective, preferring to teach students according to its biases.

After graduating from Nightwhisper's Gentlemen School, he discusses with his family to continue his study at Highsky University instead of the island's Nightwhisper University. At the end, his parents relent, as his outstanding performance will be nurtured much better in Highsky University, considered to be one of the best in Everglory. He describes the transition from Nightwhisper Island to Highsky as getting from hell to heaven, which, if expressed publicly, will enrage many Okan's worshippers in Nightwhisper.

Saeem is a quiet man, which is common in Nightwhisper, although it doesn't mean he is shy. He is and introvert person, choosing to keep his thoughts to himself and voice them out only when necessary. Because of this, he prefers to study nature, which doesn't require a conversation – spoiler alert: as he studies magic in Highsky University, he discovers nature does have its own language which is concealed by the power of all deities. Despite this, he likes to play Truth or Dare, which is at odd with his introverted behaviour.

He is a firm believer of justice and women's rights, shown with how protective and loving he is to his sister and mother. Because of this, when he is told about the island's annual ritual, his reaction is of disbelief and horror. His teachers dismiss his worry as being the trait of childishness and tells him if he continues to be like that, he will be isolated and disliked. As response, he keeps quiet about it and swears to do what is right when he is capable of doing so. Sofeas's disappearance is the trigger for him to start doing so.

As preferences, Saeem likes white and blue colours. He prefers blueberry juice and plans, as well as healthy foods. He has a keen sense of fashion, coosing to wear suits of pastel colours most of the time. He controls his self-expression, choosing what to show to the public. If not for his objection to Nightwhisper's ritual, he will be their model islander. His mysterious persona attracts the women, which is unfortunate, because he likes men, and Nightwhisper is against same-sex relationship.

Magic System

General Note

Each medium can only perform one type of magic. A mage can only have one medium for one magic. If one has two mediums of different magics, they will clash with each other, resulting nothing. So, a mage can only perform one type of magic at a time. A legendary mage can use various mediums, but this kind of mage is unheard of after the death of Selenes the Empress.

Okanese

The magic of Nightwhisper's islanders. As with all magics, it requires a medium from the mage. Although this is unnecessary, the custom of the island is that the medium for girls is a locket, while boys is a bracelet. The mage is required to bond with his medium for however long it takes before the medium changes colour from dull brown to the mage's colour of life energy. The medium's function is to change the mage's life energy (also known as el) to magical energy (also known as em).

Okanese magic is very limited related strongly the island's geography. Among its uses are:

* Increasing the growth rate of plants by
* increasing its capability to take in water, light and air
* Controlling a small amount of sand and soil
* Controlling the direction of a small amount light

Spoiler Alert

In truth, Okanese isn't as weak as it seems. The reason it is limited is because the mage depends too much on its medium's capability to turn el to em, which means the medium acts as representative to the magical force (also known as forem) dominating Nightwhisper. To achieve the maximum potential of Okanese, one has to bond with one's medium strong enough for the medium to be able to read one's thoughts and sense one's feelings, and achieve sentience.

Once the medium becomes sentience, it will be a translator to the mage of the forem's language, allowing one to comunicate directly to said forem. From there, one can negotiate with the forem to grant one more power in exchange for something equal. Before all of these are achieved, the forem will only grant the mage what he thinks all of them deserve (which is limited). Once Halia manages to make her medium become sentient, she is also able to:

* Control the movement of trees and plants
* Hear the voice of nature but still unable to understand it
* Control a huge portion of the ground
* Create a huge amount of light

Weralese

The magic of some Everglory's states including Highsky. As with all magics, it requires a medium from the mage. Since Highsky is a progressive city, the mage is able to choose any kind of medium of one's own, as long as the medium is dull gray and small in shape. The mage is required to bond with his medium for however long it takes before the medium changes colour from dull gray to the mage's colour of life energy. The medium's function is to change the mage's el to em.

Okanese magic is very limited. Among its uses are:

* Levitating small objects
* Changing the weight of small objects
* Changing the direction of wind
* Increasing and decreasing the intensity of wind

Spoiler Alert

In truth, Weralese isn't as weak as it seems. In truth, Okanese isn't as weak as it seems. The reason it is limited is because the mage depends too much on its medium's capability to turn el to em, which means the medium acts as representative forem dominating some of the Everglory's states. To acheive the maximum potential of Weralese, one has to bond with one's medium strong enough for the medium to be able to read one's thoughts and sense one's feelings, and achieve sentience.

Once the medium becomes sentience, it will be a translator to the mage of the forem's language, allowing one to comunicate directly to said forem. From there, one can negotiate with the forem to grant one more power in exchange for something equal. Before all of these are achieved, the forem will only grant the mage what he thinks all of them deserve (which is limited). Once Saeem manages to make his medium become sentient, he is also able to:

* Levitate big objects
* Fly
* Change the weight of big objects
* Create wind in the form of tornado
* Change the gravitational force of a large area
* Hear the voice of nature, but unable to understand it

States

Nightwhisper Island

A small island at the west area of Everglory. Its inhabitants are formally known as Nightwhisper's islanders, although they are more known as Whisperers. This nickname suits the general attitude of Whisperers, which is quiet and passive by practice. They do not like noises and energetic activities, preferring to gather and talk with each other in hushes, further amplifying their nickname.

Due to their unique Okanese magic, Nightwhisper becomes the primary source of nature, providing Everglory with various types of plants and cereals. This fact is also the reason Everglory permits the island's strange annual ritual, dismissing all the complaints given about it. The Whisperers invent new technology to go along with their magic in order to further enhance the island's capability to produce natural resources.

The geography of Nightwhisper is typical to that of an island.

Skyhigh

The capital city of Everglory, Skyhigh boasts its technological advances as well as being the leading state in the department of magicology. Its inhabitants are formally known as Skyhighians, although they are more known as Flyers. This nickname suits the general activity of the Flyers, which is levitating small objects around them for fun. They thrive on noises and energetic activities, preferring a never-dying atmosphere of he city, brightened by neon lights and polluted by all kind of noises.

Despite their advanced technology, Skyhigh balances progress with greenery. Half ofthe city is covered with gardens or forest, carefully cultivated and kept to lower the air population of the city. The presence of greenery is solely to maintain the healthy environment of the city, which makes it dependent on states like Nightwhisper to provide it with natural resources.

Greenlight

Contrary to its name, Greenlight is a state of fishermen at the south of Everglory. Due to that, the main economy is fishing, and using the inhabitants' unique magic called Silian, Greenlight becomes one of the leading states in maritime and aquatic creatures industry, boasting its capability to provide aquatic foods and resources. An inhabitant of Greenlight is called Greenlighter, although they are more known as Merhunter if they're a man or Merhuntress if they're a woman. Like Skyhigh, they thrive on noises and energetic activities, although to a more extreme level. They prefer wearing less clothes than other inhabitants from more progressive cities.

Despite the men dominating the fishing activities, Greenlight is unofficially matriarchal, as seen when one of their beliefs is that 'a house is a woman's territory'. The status of a woman is based on her cooking skills; the higher the level of cooking mastery she has, the more authority she has on those who receive her food. Merhunters in general can only learn one kind of mastery which is fishery, while Merhuntress can learn more, but choose to focus on the one that gives them most power.

The Greenlight environment is the reason why Halia finds the Nightwhisper's ritual to be ridiculous.

Okan's Sacrifices (Major Spoilers)

In truth, Okan is the masculine name of the so-called goddess, Okana. She is in fact the most powerful earth forem who, like other forems, do not have the ability of touch, smell, and taste. She exists by hearing and speaking to natural creatures including humans. Upon meeting the first and current head of Nightwhisper, Razes Surevictor, she demands his service in exchange of great power and immortality. She requires the dead body of a girl every year for possession, as that is the only way she can gain access to the sensations a human can have.

When Razes is able to fulfill her demand, she allows him to master over the part of nature that is under her command. He is able to be the most powerful Okanese mage, and contribute a lot to Nightwhisper's progress.

Antagonists (Major Spoilers)

Razes Surevictor

Razes is a cunning man, adept in business and charming women. His taste of an ideal female, however, is disturbing. He lusts on young girls and can't find a failproof way to satisfy his desire until Okana tells him her demands. From there, he forms a plan of kidnapping girls around Nightwhisper, targeting the one he finds most appealing at that moment. This is known by his closest allies and subordinates, and he has found ways to force them to keep their mouth shut.

As a curse, although he has married multiple times, he never gets a child. In his twisted mind, he imagine his child to be a girl, whom he can brainwash to meet his sex appetite. After countless trying and divorces, he opts to be single. That builds a reputation for him, being known as a lonely person who has great burden on his shoulder to run the island. This is, of course, an illusion to encourage people to be loyal to him, some of them even reaching the point of worshipping him.

Meria Blackwinter

Being the headmistress of Nightwhisper's Ladies School, Meria knows everything about all the girls in the island as it is the fundamental right of every child to have education. Because of that, she knows one of her students will be chosen as sacrifice to Okan. Despite knowing this is a morally wrong thing to do, she cannot help but to fall in love with the wealth Razes has given to her. She is one of the few Whisperers who cannot use Okanese magic due to genetic reason, and her envy is sated when she sees each girl disappears for good every year.

Like Razes, Meria displays a benevolent demeanor in front of public. Her inability to use Okanese magic makes it look like it's a trivial aspect to her, as she shows much care to her Okanese mage students. Her concerns and focus on her students are seen to be motherly, when in truth it is just an efficient facade to know her students better in order to choose one to be Okan's sacrifice.

Side Characters

Sofeas Brightstar

The middle sibling of the three, Sofeas is trained to be as demure and polite as the other Nightwhisper's girls. That being said, inherent in her is the tendency to be energetic, which is pale in comparison to people like Halia, but extraordinary in comparison to people like Whisperers. Because of this, she suppresses her feelings, and learns to release them within her control when Halia becomes her classmate.

Symilia Brightstar

The youngest child of the Brightstars, Symilia is cute only by appearance. Age thirteen, she likes to smile sweetly and mouthes curses. She still has the quiet disposition of a Whisperer, but there's a juxtaposition in her character in which she might act in an innocent fashion but say something entirely not innocent. She is seen passive because she doesn't like wasting her energy and instead relies on her mouth to gain what she desires the most – the unexpected reaction of others.

Dameen Purewater

Being the father of Halia Purewater, Dameen is a worried creature, always looking after for his daughter. This might be due to the fact that she is his only child, but he also views Halia as still being childish because of her sunny disposition, and uses everything he could to make sure she is safe all the time. Dameen is a white-collar worker whose work is something I'm still figuring out.

Huree Purewater

The ex-chieftainess of Greenlight, who agrees to move out because of her husband's job. She has heard about Nightwhisperer's ritual and wants to investigate more about it. After knowing Halia's friend has disappeared, she fears Halia will be next and it makes her more driven to stop the disappearance. Unlike Dameen, she doesn't mind taking risks. Her excellency in cooking is directly proportional to her mastery of Silian magic, though she rarely uses it to get what she wants since she can use her charisma alone.

Okay, so your plot and characters are pretty interesting, but I just wanted to drop by and say I *love* the magic system! It's so cool and there's so much hidden potential there and I bet it'll make for some really awesome reveals in the story when the characters find out the true reaches of their powers. All your magic systems are cool, honestly, but I think this is your best yet.

Notes About Chapter 1.1

So... after planning for the chapters and deciding Halia's PoV would be used in the first chapter, I used Sofeas's instead. And I think this is better. Introducing her as a character will allow readers to know more about her before she disappears, and with her comes the general outlook of Whisperers, her fascination about and meeting of Halia. I might be able to introduce more side characters on the second part. I plan for the scene to be with Sofeas and her mother and about Halia and the Okanese religion.

I also hope Halia's enthusiasm and oddity among the others is shown sufficiently in this part. I also hope Sofeas's attraction to her is conveyed naturally.



Replies

@Mea: Thank you! I definitely enjoy creating the magic system. I can't wait to employ it in my story, although now that I think of it, it might not be an important aspect of the story until later on.