The House that Jack Kerouac Built (Second Verse)

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The House that Jack Kerouac Built [Second Verse]

I have found the weeds which Ophelia
wound around wrists and ankles;
and Chatterton measured the moon.

Flirtaceous perrenials blooms of boyhood
and the canticles of courtship, froliced under
the moon the sky never saw as it dipped
down to the well at the world's end.

As they wained and wilted,
I like a Monarch morphed-
a paradigm shift, venus, a white still life
the butterfly collector, only when
moths are left.

Still, I'm a kitten on your patchwork quilt
in the house that Jack Kerouac built.
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

Got YWS?




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also amazing! i like the allusion to Ophelia. Your writing makes the setting so clear, it's remarkable. "canticles of courtship"- very catchy, good use of alliteration :)
"All for one and one for all- that is our motto, is it not?"




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First stanza - I don't think "and" should go after a semi-colon ever really.

Second stanza - amazing.

Third stanza - same.

I was a bit disappointed with the repeat of the last stanza, the "still" didn't work for me (too informal in a poem of this standard - you have better language skills than that) and it didn't keep up to the same level.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.



When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.
— Grace Helbig