If Love is Stupid
June 28th 1976- Cornwall, England
"After nearly sixteen years of life, love and friendship Ayla Enos is being laid to rest," the minister bowed his head for a moment of silence, "I'm now opening the floor to any friends or relatives who would like to speak."
Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and felt the cold air caressing my raw throat. Shuddering slightly, I willed myself to stand. Opening my eyes, I traced the familiar faces of Ayla's family, staring hard until they all blurred into a mass of color. I looked down and kept a strong eye contact with my new shoes while I trudged over to the head of the coffin.
Feeling eyes on me I looked up and found my self eye-level with a life size photo of Ayla s face. Her golden-brown hair was up in her usual ponytail and she was wearing her favorite sparkly blue eye shadow that I hated. I felt hot tears rise up and I swallowed hard trying to fight them back. I tasted their hot saltiness mixed with the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth. I ran my tongue on the inside of my mouth and felt a twinge of pain as I ran over a ragged spot were I had been chewing on my cheek.
Gently someone put their hand on my shoulder and shook me softly, "You?ve got it?" The minister looked into my eyes and I blinked like a newborn at the light.
I gave him a weak smile and nodded. I took a couple deep breaths feeling the cold air around me. "Ayla," I said softly, aiming my words toward the familiar faces, "Ayla," I said again, stronger this time turning my face against the wind, "Ayla and I," I clarified, "we, us together," I paused, "Best friends for life."
I saw Ayla's mom give me a watery smile, "I said it and I meant it even when I was more angry at her than I can explain. Just wanted to let you know," I spoke toward Ayla?s picture, "you?re not my best friend for life, you're my best friend forever." My voice cracked while I was speaking and dwindled off into nothing several times too, but I embarassment was beyond me. I leaned over Ayla's coffin and whispered softly, I stupid you too. I smiled inwardly over our little inside joke and kissed her red-wood coffin before quickly retreating back to my seat.
Realizing I was finished they clapped as I sat down. While I sat as other friends and relatives got up and said some things and then the Minister got up and said some things with out me hearing any of it. It felt like my brain's knowledge of sound had been pushed to the back of it, inaccessible to me.
I felt myself drifting.
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Then I stupid you.
I wrote this about a month ago and got my friend Hannah to edit it. But about a week ago she died. (She's been sick for awhile- heart problems) So I want to dedicate this to her and her amazing writing talent.
Love you Hannah.
-Maggie
