Perfection

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Okay! This poem lives and breathes on formatting, so you can check it out, in its very pretty formatting, at the link below:

http://www.writely.com/View.aspx?docid=dggrtn3h_0xngs6g

Tell me what you think here! :D
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
Wow, this is very different. I really enjoyed this aside from all the "just a little bits" at the end...kind of drove me crazy a bit. But other than that, it's a work of art to me. Do you have more poetry formatted like this?
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
No... this was my first attempt at using formatting like this.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
Well, it's really good...you should definitely do it again ;)
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 114
Nice job, Snoink. Interesting approach to poetry. I have no complaint, though I agree with Chevy about the end of it.

I'd like to hear this vocally performed some day.
David Guinness




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
The end looks too big. It's supposed to taper off into a whisper, but the font starts too big and stuff... maybe if I italicize it, it'll look smaller and sound more like a hiss...
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D



Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
— Willie Nelson