On Cursed Twins And Difficult Beginnings

So. As you can probably tell from the thread title, I'm having a little trouble with this one. I have a synopsis that probably needs rewriting and a general idea of how I want to start this. I'm just really having trouble actually writing the first scene, though. So any help is much appreciated!

Also, fair warning; this is probably going to be more New Adult/Young Adult than anything and by default will have slightly mature themes. I'll try not to stray too far towards adult territory, of course. Rated between 16+ and 18+ for violence, language and mature themes.

Synopsis:

Spoiler

Aneirin and his sister Alessia rule Veissi benevolantly, lamenting the days when their long-dead parents used to rule. As children they were cursed by a enchantress to feel the desire of everyone they encountered. Alessia, being unable to cope with the curse's effects on her, decided to squester herself away with a small entourage, leaving Aneirin to run the kingdom as he saw fit. Co-rulers in name only, they try to keep their kingdom alive and thriving--it's not quite working.

And then one day, after a particularly brutal conflict between two sides in a neighbouring kingdom, a young man is dragged before Aneirin. He bears a striking resemblance to the late royal family of Dumos, and oddly, the man fails to trigger the curse. The slave, for that is what Dumos implies, is a gift from Dumos to Veissi, to show that Dumos is a benevolant neighbour with no eyes on Veissi's crown or their land.

Aneirin is hard pressed to believe the Dumosi Ambassador, but with the curse riding him particularly hard, he agrees to the gift and promptly retires--and ponders the lack of effect on the curse he shares with his sister.

Um, yeah. Ask questions and offer advice below!

You probably won't like this idea but what I would do is write a scene either set far in the future, or some years before you want the actual story to begin. You know, just as a prologue to set the scene. Might help you figure out what the first scene should be?

I actually hadn't considered that, you know. *puts it on a list* It'll probably be an extra thing I write, considering I did just figure out how I wanted to start the story the other day?

This may just be because of how your synopsis is worded, but what do you mean they feel others' "desire"? Is it just the things they want? Is it sexual desire? And if it's the broader category of 'things they want,' wouldn't Aneirin be able to tell if the ambassador is being deceitful or not? Also, why does he retire?

(Sorry, lots of questions.)

If you think you can work in enough exposition to not confuse the reader too much, you could probably just start with when the slave is brought to him. It sets up the conflict right off the bat.

@Meandbooks, the idea is that it's most the sexual side, but I'm sure other "desires" might leak through. I really need to lay out exactly how their curse works. I think it might also depend on how good someone is at hiding their desires, too. So, Aneirin might not pick up on the abassador's deceit until it's too late?

Retire; As for why, uh, I explain just before that.But to elaborate, in my chapter notes, Aneirin has been holding court and dealing with all sorts of issues that people bring before him to "fix". So he's probably tired of dealing with stupid issues or arguments, sick of dealing with people in general and is trying to deal with his curse being more active than usual?

Questions are good. They make me consider things I hadn't considered before! Thanks for the questions!

That's the problem I was having; if I just jump straight into the slave being brought before him, then the chapter would be really short. I really don't want it to be too short, and in this case short would be, like, less than 500 words. Not a good start for chapter lengths, right? So I kind of wanted to draw it out a bit, but not too much, if that makes sense?

Oh, that's what you mean by the "curse riding him hard." I see. I think having the retiring part and the accepting the gift part in the same sentence doesn't work that well because it makes the cause and effect there a little bit confusing.

As for worrying about the opening chapter being really short - that makes sense. But I feel like if that's your first scene and you have to explain/show the curse, the fact that he's ruling the kingdom without his sister, the political situation with Dumosi, and why it's such a big deal this slave doesn't trigger the curse, that should be far more than 500 words.

Even if it's still shorter than you would like, you could always just have a scene break instead of starting Chapter Two.

Update; this now has a title and will be a Camp Nano project!

I forgot to respond to you, @Meandbooks! Re; cause & effect: I could make that clearer, I suppose. As for chapter length, I could indeed do a scene break. There is a lot to try and talk about, so we'll see how it goes. Thanks for the great advice, Meand!

If you guys want to stalk me on camp nano, here you go; Scarli's Camp NaNo Account!

P.S. There's a link to my twitter on there, so feel free to stalk that, too!

Quick update; On 2.5k. At least 2k of it is my first chapter. I feel quite accomplished. Keep an eye on this thread and my project info on the camp website! I'll probably be posting excerpts soonish!

Excerpts posted! Feel free to head on over to my Camp NaNo Profile to check them out!