The Fearless

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Shadows creep through the streets in the darkest parts of the night, unbeknownst to those who refuse to inquire. Those who do not inquire shall soon see their end.

“Follow me, my brothers! Follow me!” yelled Father Caraidus, holding his glowing lantern high into the night sky. “Those who hesitate die! Do not look back!”

The congregation followed Caraidus over the hill, towards the remote sanctuary. Those who looked back were consumed by the night.

“My daughter! Where is my daughter! I must go back!” yelled a man from the congregation, pushing against them. He made his way back towards the gates of the burning city. A cloud formed in his mind and he began a furious sprint. Darkness veiled him from the congregation as they attempted to watch. All they could hear were his screams as the cloud in his mind grew larger.

“Another lost! Do not look back!” yelled Caraidus. “We must continue! Don't do anything foolish, I say!”

It was only a few minutes before they reached the Chapel. The crowd shuffled in. Safe at last.

“Listen brothers! Here we are safe for now! No one is to leave!” shouted Caraidus above the murmur of distraught hearts. “Already shadows creep around us, like a pack of wolves surrounding its prey! Be on your guard.” What he said was indeed true. Outside the windows could be seen glowing eyes, darting to and fro.

“We are forsaken!” came a shout from the crowd.

“It is not so! We shall prevail!” retorted the old priest. “Have you not stronger faiths?”

There was no response.

Caraidus put out his lantern and began, “Our arrival here has assured our--”

Before he could finish, the sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the sanctuary. Darkness flooded in, and angry claws mangled those of weakest minds. Screams of terror of the utmost kind were soon to follow. The congregation was overwhelmed with darkness as clouds of pure black entered every beings' mind, torturing the soul within.

Caraidus, about to succumb, shouted, “I shall never accept defeat! Throughout the blackest darkness I shall fight! Until my fists are crushed from every blow I will swing, until my life bleeds out of my every wound, until my soul is withered, I shall fight the darkness with all which I can summon!”

Caraidus suddenly found himself in pitch dark. Nothing could be seen, heard, or felt. Isolation. Everything was quiet until a voice echoed out from all directions.

“Why is it, you of all people, could fight with such vigor?” The voice was tainted with hatred. “You have nothing to fight for!”

“You are blind,” snapped Caraidus.

“Fool!” shouted the voice. “Do you not know to whom you speak? I am the blackest darkness. You said you would fight me, and I have accepted. What will you do now?”

“I know that which you detest most. I know that which makes you, the creator of fear itself, cower behind your words.”

“Vermin! You talk with closed eyes! Can you not see this darkness is the darkness of my hand, in which you are grasped? You have already lost!”

“I can hear your voice tremble. You understand, don't you? If I'm wrong, kill me. Kill me now. End my existence. Crush my soul with your hand.”

The voice did not respond.

“I told you! In the coldest storm! In the hottest desert! I shall walk, and nothing shall hinder me!”

The darkness dispelled and Caraidus was back in the sanctuary. Only three townspeople remained. They looked around in a bewildered blend of confusion and grief, wondering of those who were no longer there.

Caraidus looked towards them. “Those who hesitate die. Fear has no grasp on the fearless.”
Last edited by Doctor Kitty on Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:47 am, edited 2 times in total.




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I was scrolling down the front page looking for something to read, and this caught my eye, so your opening definitely grabs the reader.

The dialogue is done well, and I really liked the descriptions. All in all, the story was even kind of lyrical in a way.

I don't have much to critique here. It was a story I enjoyed reading and you did a very good job with it.




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Great story. Although there's quite a bit of dialog, as Nate said, it's done very well. The "readability" is excellent.

Does the name Caraidus come from cariadus, "beloved"?
David Guinness




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When I read, stories can rarely grab me from the beginning, so I tend to put a little extra effort in capturing the reader from the beginning in my writing. My attention span is real low when it comes to this stuff.

Does the name Caraidus come from cariadus, "beloved"?

No, but I can conveniently make it that way. :D




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Okay, Waffles. :D

(Caradoc > Caradog > cariadus, Welsh for "beloved")

Just thought that was interesting. ;)
David Guinness




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I really enjoyed this. I don't know if Waffles did this purposefully...but I interpreted some religious references in the story…maybe it’s just me.
The individual leads in actual fact a double life, one in which he is an end to himself and another in which he is a link in a chain which he serves against his will or at least independently of his will.
--SIGMUND FREUD




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(Caradoc > Caradog > cariadus, Welsh for "beloved")

Just thought that was interesting.

I'm thinking about changing it to Cariadus, actually. :)

I really enjoyed this. I don't know if Waffles did this purposefully...but I interpreted some religious references in the story…maybe it’s just me.

I didn't mean to, but after I re-read it, I saw them. I'm quite happy with the references, actually. :D



A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
— Mark Twain