Masquerade

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Are you trying to say... be imaginative and not totally direct?
... I don't really understand you either Niamh :P




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I'm not much of a poet, but I will say that the imagery was perfect. Some of it I didn't exactly understand, but a lot of it was brought out crystal clear.

Well done.




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Excellent poem as always Liz. I only have a few corrections.

humor so phony, I can’t help but laugh

Add a comma after laugh.

your mask, and was touched by your gloves,

Awkward line. I would take out 'was' or something like that.

and for this; I can no longer dance with grace.

Comma after this, not a semicolon.

And though the clouds are gone, there are shadows
In my eyes as I look at you, sneaking behind the table

The transition between these two lines seemed jerky. I don't know why, it just was. In fact, this whole stanza seemed jerky. I would work on the transitions to make it flow as well as the rest of your poem.

I used to cry behind my feathered eyes for you

Add a period.

And as you said yourself, I would do a stronger ending.

Overall, great job. There were just those few grammar things that I pointed out and I hope that this poem goes somewhere. I really like it! Awesome job!
"I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul..." --Mr. Darcy, P & P, 2005 movie
"You pierce my soul." --Cpt. Frederick Wentworth

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Maybe what most people wanted wasn't immortality and fame, but the reassurance that their existence had meant something. No matter how long... or how brief. Maybe being eternal meant becoming a story worth telling.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality