You probably shouldn't use the word "so" twice. I would write it as "Look at you, so pure, your skin unmarked." I don't know... it sounds more poetic to me.
Nice stuff, by the way.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. — Captain James T. Kirk
