Wow. I really like that. Good use of the present tense- normally I have trouble putting up with that. I can really feel your character, even though he isn't really described. I think it works without the description though. I have this image of some vague, blurry male in his late teens standing on the curb with his cigarette. I also really like the description of her room in the fourth paragraph from the bottom.
Overall, I really like it, and I'm having a lot of trouble finding any sort of constructive criticism. I guess that's a good thing.
i liked this. i mostly like the astmophere of it, it leaves you in a state of confusion and sorrow and the story itself. and you conjure up a dark feeling surrounding the character.
i like this.
its good.
