Rant, rave, cry and scream right here. Whatever needs to come out can.
One rule: no being mean.
Know This: everyone, absolutely everyone has those down days. And usually, they do get better. Might take time and a few hugs, but time can cure just about anything.
Help?! (give and receive it here)
2 posts in this topic.
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Uh, I kinda posted this so I could get it out...
The boulder a certain "doctor" with good intentions dropped on my head this afternoon:
he thinks I should go inpatient.
Fact: I have post-traumatic stress disorder from past catastrophes in attempted inpatient settings....
My worst fear ever (other than family members dying and traumatic amputation) is being institutionalized.
See the problem there?
I didn't exactly recieve the news well. I was already stressed, as being anywhere in public always makes me stressed....
And I'm really confused.
It took just about everything I have in me to not run out of the sorry building and become a street kid then and there.
I keep thinking about it: my doctor is convinced I'm gonna go for a downhill slide sometime in the future if we don't "nip this in the bud".
Fact: it's already gone for a major downhill slide! How much farther can possibly be left to slide?
Fact: his reasons seem really puny. He wants to "observe" the reactions I have to medications.
Contradiction: he last contacted my mom on email, saying that he was satisfied with the trial I'd given the latest piece turd he called a pill.
Sorry that I'm so angry...but he's talking about putting me in a nut house. Not to offend anyone, but that's not my idea of being safe and warm... It's my idea of torture, including allergic reactions to every drug they give you, four-point restraints and padded cells.
And nurses who don't know a up from down. I don't get this from horror stories someone told me or that I read- I get this from firsthand experience in ER psych wards. And I have to tell you, I avoid them at all costs.
And what's even more confusing is that my disorder isn't psychiatric- it's a movement disorder Tourette's Syndrome, whose second cousins include epilepsey, Parkinson's disease, dystonia and any other brain condition you can think of.
See why I'm ready to pull my hair out?
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